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How to Pull the Weeds from Your Life

July 26, 2011 by
Public Flower Garden in downtown Seattle

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Fellow Students of Life,

Your life is like a garden and needs to be ‘weeded’ now and again. If a gardener didn’t clear out the debris and weeds from the flower or vegetable garden, nothing would grow and flourish. Your life works the same way. Allowing weeds to grow will literally ‘choke the life’ out of you. It’s time to pull the weeds (at the root) from your life so you can flourish and prosper.

When you begin to pull the weeds from your life, you may feel sad or disconnected. Acknowledge your feelings and process them. Please don’t stuff feelings down because they’ll only resurface. You may as well face and deal with them now rather than later. Journal or express your feelings to a trusted confidant. Get a massage or Reiki treatment to help you clear away old, sticky energy. Think to yourself this too shall pass and know … All is well.

How to Pull the Weeds from Your Life

1. Uproot old thoughts and beliefs. Ask yourself the following questions:

  • Why do I believe what I believe?
  • Where did my beliefs come from?
  • How do my beliefs serve me?
  • Why am I hanging onto these old beliefs?
  • How have my thoughts shaped my life?

Once you’ve figured out “why” you believe and think what you do, let your ‘old’ beliefs and thoughts go. Replace them with new beliefs and thoughts that resonate with you. Visit Heal Your Life to learn more.

2. Move on from stale relationships. Have the courage to say goodbye (if necessary) to work, romantic, friendships, family, and other relationships which are no longer for your highest good. You could always revisit these relationships at a later date. People do change.

3. Let go of activities that drain you. If you don’t enjoy certain activities or are involved in too many, let some of them go. You’ll feel lighter.

4. Don’t say “Yes” when you want to say “No.” This is a tough one for most people but it can be done. Be true to yourself and stop saying “Yes” out of fear, duty, or obligation. Say “Yes” only if you truly want to.

5. Give away clothing and other items. Remember, “When in doubt, toss it out.” If you haven’t worn a shirt in over a year, you probably won’t wear it again. Donate items to Goodwill and other charitable organizations. You could always sell items on eBay or have a garage sale.

6. Move to another city or state to revitalize your life force. Family and friends may think you’re crazy, but they’re not the one moving. Thank them for sharing their thoughts, pack your bags, and get on the road. Remember: you take yourself with you when you move.

Quiet your fears through daily meditation. You’ve probably heard this 100 times but it begs repeating. Sitting quietly, observing your breath is a fantastic way to help you pull the weeds from your life. You’ll have clarity before you begin weeding.

7. Forgive yourself and others and move forward with your life. Forgiveness will set you free. It’s time to ‘uproot’ the past and forget about “who did what to whom” and let it go. These ‘weeds’ choke your life the most. Let it all go and release the heaviness you’ve been carrying.

8. Pull the gossip. It’s easy to get caught up in family or work drama. Heck, TV in the U.S. is filled with ‘gossipy’ TV shows that tell us what’s going on in the lives of celebrities and others. Gossip is hurtful and more importantly, the information is usually false. If you were sucked in by gossip, chop that weed and uproot it straight-away. Remember, the energy you put out into the universe will come back to you. How would you feel if someone gossiped about you?

9. Pull the self-hate. Unfortunately, many people don’t like, let alone love themselves. It’s time to pull the self-loathing from your life. No one is perfect; everyone is doing the best they can. When you criticize yourself it’s not good for you. Acknowledge what you’d like to change and change it. Please don’t beat yourself up because EVERYONE makes mistakes.

10. Pull whatever needs to be pulled in your life. Examine your life and uproot anything that’s choking it. Lovingly release the weeds from your life and plant new seeds. Fertilize new ‘life’ seeds through affirmations, walks in nature, therapy, meditation, yoga, uplifting music, books, etc. Your life will begin to sprout ‘new shoots’ in no time!

Rebecca

What ‘weeds’ need to be pulled from your life? Share?

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7 Ways to Kick the Co-Dependency Habit

July 1, 2011 by
An L-kick

Image via Wikipedia

Is co-dependency wreaking havoc on your life? I never realized how many co-dependent people were in my family. This doesn’t sit well with me because I’m a strong, independent woman who enjoys doing things for me. Before I ask for help, I research a problem and exhaust all resources. After I’m convinced that I need help, I seek it out. I don’t automatically ask for help without trying to figure something out on my own. Besides, I love a good challenge and wouldn’t want to miss out on an opportunity to learn something new. I set goals because they suit me not to please others. I also don’t expect people to ‘guess’ what I need — I tell them. One of my favorite quotes is, “What others think of me is none of my business.” Adopting this into your life could set you free.

Most people ask for help without seeking solutions to their problems. Their co-dependent ways can be a turn-off and irritate the people around them. Think about the people in your life. Do they turn to you every time they have a problem? How do they react when you ask them, “Did you try this or that?” Do they get mad or upset? Do they play the ‘poor me, victim, or I’m helpless” card? On the flip side, if you attract co-dependent people into your life, you may want to examine “why” this happens. Perhaps, you have a tendency to ‘save’ (rescue archetype) everyone who crosses your path. What are you getting out of this? How is it serving you? How is it serving others? Perhaps, you attract these people because you want to feel needed and love. There’s a big difference between wanting to help because you want to versus needing to help because you get something out it.

7 Ways to Kick the Codependency Habit

1. Journal your thoughts and feelings about co-dependency. Examine where you tend to be co-dependent in your life. What is your self-worth?

2. What are you afraid of? Being independent? Not hurting another person’s feelings? What’s stopping you from kicking the co-dependency habit?

3. Before you ask others for help, try to solve your own problems.

4. Stop believing and feeling you’re responsible for ‘fixing’ the problems of the people in your life.

5. Examine if you set goals based on what people will think of you. Do you seek their approval?

6. Stop manipulating others with your moods. For example, “I’m unhappy; therefore, you should stop what you’re doing and take care of me.”

7. Start telling people what you need instead of leaving them to guess.

If you want to improve your relationships, you may want to break the ‘co-dependency’ habit. Controlling others won’t work and can push them right out of your life. Stop telling people what to do — it’s not your job. They need to find their own path and figure it out. If they need your help, they’ll ask for it. It’s too exhausting and unhealthy for the people in your life to have to guess what you want and for you to set goals based on gaining their approval. Your goals are your goals; others may not understand ‘why’ you want to set and reach them. They don’t have to.

Break the co-dependency habit today, and live a happier, stress free life tomorrow!

Rebecca

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Words of the Past Can Impact Your Life Today

June 13, 2011 by
put out before thought out

Image by Will Lion via Flickr

For some reason, I was thinking about my elementary and high school days. I remembered how I was picked on or bullied in high school. My elementary Catholic School didn’t tolerate any “B.S” from the students. They had no problem expelling and suspending students. Public school was different from Catholic school in more ways than one. The kids seemed wilder and out of control to me. Ninth grade was a breeze for me because the education I received from my Catholic school was ahead of the public high school I attended. If I had to do it all over again, I would have accepted my aunt and uncle’s offer to attend a Catholic high school. The religion may not have resonated (still doesn’t) with me, but I would have received a better education which was more important. Live and learn!

I was an overweight teenager and was picked on by some older kids. I was also picked on a group of freshmen who started a nasty rumor about me. My parents were called into the office because the principal thought I made it up to get attention. I guess the good news was that nobody really believed the rumor. However, I thought the entire school did. I was amazed how karma’ bit these people in the butt. At the time I didn’t realize it was their karma coming back to bite them, but I do now.

Tip: Think before you speak.

I was thinking about my sister and how a junior high school teacher called my parents into her office to tell them my sister was ‘too stupid’ to pursue a nursing degree. My sister always wanted to be a nurse. Needless to say, that teacher’s words hit my sister harder than a fist. Her words still affect my sister; she still wants to become a nurse. The ignorant teacher planted seeds of defeat and doubt into my sister’s head. She’s trying to shake them off, but they still have a hold on her.

It’s amazing how our words can make or break a person. You may have had words of defeat and doubt spoken over you as a child. Find the courage within yourself to release them once and for all. Forgive the people because if you don’t, they’ll still have a hold on you. It’s up to you to take responsibility for your life. You can be, do, and have anything you want in life. How bad do you want it? What are you willing to do to grab hold of your desires? The first step is to acknowledge you deserve the best that life has to offer. The second step is to release and bless the past. The final step is to discover what makes your heart sing and go for it. Remember what Napoleon Hill said, “Don’t wait. The time will never be just right.” Allow no one to talk you out of your dreams. Do what you want.

Rebecca

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How to Stand in Your Power with Family

June 8, 2011 by
Cover of "Angels and Spirit Guides"

Cover of Angels and Spirit Guides

I’m the type of person that likes to live by the motto “Live and let live.” I don’t bother anyone and respect that people have their lives to live. What they do has absolutely nothing to with me or my happiness. For example, if my sister said to me, “I’m moving to Charleston, SC. Bye!” My response would be, “Fantastic! Good luck to you! Let me know when you’re settled, I’d love to visit.” I wouldn’t go on and on how she was leaving me, her kids (actually it would be my 17-year-old niece who’s heading to college in the fall), or our mother. My sister turns 45 on September 30 and can do what she wants. My happiness doesn’t depend on her living 15 minutes away for me. I also couldn’t force her to live in the Southwest which is where I want to move back to. Why is it that certain family members, who aren’t healthy for you, insist on pushing their way back into your life? How do you stand in your power and gently say, “No, thank you?”

How to stand in your power with family

1. Be honest. Sometimes you need to tell people what you think of them. Stay calm and don’t raise your voice.

2. Say “No” and mean it. If you disappoint or ‘tick-off’ people, oh well! If you say “Yes,” when you want to say “No,” you’ll be miserable and won’t come from a place of authenticity or love.

3. Learn to be disliked. This is a tough one for most people, especially women. I realized this is an issue for me. I’d rather be happy than hang out with people whom I don’t want to hang out with. I’d rather be happy and do my own thing than be sucked into drama.

4. Call upon your angels, spirit guides, and ascended masters. I’ve been doing this, but I do question if it works. I still call upon Archangel Michael, God, Quan Yin, and others to help guide me and release people and situations from my life that are toxic to me.

5. Step out in nature. Being in nature can refresh you. Go to the park or sit outside. Allow your mind to wander, listen to the birds sing, or watch the clouds in the sky. Walk in the grass or hug a tree. Give all your stress to Mother Earth and allow it to be transmuted into love.

6. Love you! No matter what, love and accept yourself. Remember, you are responsible for you and no one else.

I have great respect for people who own who they are. They don’t give a flying leap about what others think. They live their lives the way they want to without a care in the world. They’re very powerful and have no guilt about telling people what they think of them. I strive to be like this. I feel as if certain people are siphoning my light and energy from me; it’s really starting to irritate me.

I’ve studied metaphysical and spiritual topics now for four years and according to all of the authors I’ve read, all of us have angels and spirit guides who supposed to help us. I’m constantly giving people and situations to God and the angels so they can deal with it. Why isn’t it working? I have no desire to be around people who drain me. To quote Abraham-Hicks, “One minute you’re in the vortex and the next minute you’re out. What happened?”

I’ve learned that I must stand in my power and be who I am. If I don’t accept who I am, I won’t be happy. And when I’m not happy, no one will be happy. It’s like that saying, “Happy wife, happy life!” Seriously though, no one has the right to infringe upon your space and serenity. I like what Oprah said on her farewell show, “Don’t wait for someone to save you, save yourself. Take responsibility for your own life.” I wish certain family members of mine would hear this.

Rebecca

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