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How to Pull the Weeds from Your Life

July 26, 2011 by
Public Flower Garden in downtown Seattle

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Fellow Students of Life,

Your life is like a garden and needs to be ‘weeded’ now and again. If a gardener didn’t clear out the debris and weeds from the flower or vegetable garden, nothing would grow and flourish. Your life works the same way. Allowing weeds to grow will literally ‘choke the life’ out of you. It’s time to pull the weeds (at the root) from your life so you can flourish and prosper.

When you begin to pull the weeds from your life, you may feel sad or disconnected. Acknowledge your feelings and process them. Please don’t stuff feelings down because they’ll only resurface. You may as well face and deal with them now rather than later. Journal or express your feelings to a trusted confidant. Get a massage or Reiki treatment to help you clear away old, sticky energy. Think to yourself this too shall pass and know … All is well.

How to Pull the Weeds from Your Life

1. Uproot old thoughts and beliefs. Ask yourself the following questions:

  • Why do I believe what I believe?
  • Where did my beliefs come from?
  • How do my beliefs serve me?
  • Why am I hanging onto these old beliefs?
  • How have my thoughts shaped my life?

Once you’ve figured out “why” you believe and think what you do, let your ‘old’ beliefs and thoughts go. Replace them with new beliefs and thoughts that resonate with you. Visit Heal Your Life to learn more.

2. Move on from stale relationships. Have the courage to say goodbye (if necessary) to work, romantic, friendships, family, and other relationships which are no longer for your highest good. You could always revisit these relationships at a later date. People do change.

3. Let go of activities that drain you. If you don’t enjoy certain activities or are involved in too many, let some of them go. You’ll feel lighter.

4. Don’t say “Yes” when you want to say “No.” This is a tough one for most people but it can be done. Be true to yourself and stop saying “Yes” out of fear, duty, or obligation. Say “Yes” only if you truly want to.

5. Give away clothing and other items. Remember, “When in doubt, toss it out.” If you haven’t worn a shirt in over a year, you probably won’t wear it again. Donate items to Goodwill and other charitable organizations. You could always sell items on eBay or have a garage sale.

6. Move to another city or state to revitalize your life force. Family and friends may think you’re crazy, but they’re not the one moving. Thank them for sharing their thoughts, pack your bags, and get on the road. Remember: you take yourself with you when you move.

Quiet your fears through daily meditation. You’ve probably heard this 100 times but it begs repeating. Sitting quietly, observing your breath is a fantastic way to help you pull the weeds from your life. You’ll have clarity before you begin weeding.

7. Forgive yourself and others and move forward with your life. Forgiveness will set you free. It’s time to ‘uproot’ the past and forget about “who did what to whom” and let it go. These ‘weeds’ choke your life the most. Let it all go and release the heaviness you’ve been carrying.

8. Pull the gossip. It’s easy to get caught up in family or work drama. Heck, TV in the U.S. is filled with ‘gossipy’ TV shows that tell us what’s going on in the lives of celebrities and others. Gossip is hurtful and more importantly, the information is usually false. If you were sucked in by gossip, chop that weed and uproot it straight-away. Remember, the energy you put out into the universe will come back to you. How would you feel if someone gossiped about you?

9. Pull the self-hate. Unfortunately, many people don’t like, let alone love themselves. It’s time to pull the self-loathing from your life. No one is perfect; everyone is doing the best they can. When you criticize yourself it’s not good for you. Acknowledge what you’d like to change and change it. Please don’t beat yourself up because EVERYONE makes mistakes.

10. Pull whatever needs to be pulled in your life. Examine your life and uproot anything that’s choking it. Lovingly release the weeds from your life and plant new seeds. Fertilize new ‘life’ seeds through affirmations, walks in nature, therapy, meditation, yoga, uplifting music, books, etc. Your life will begin to sprout ‘new shoots’ in no time!

Rebecca

What ‘weeds’ need to be pulled from your life? Share?

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What’s the Real Meaning of Family?

July 4, 2011 by

Image via Wikipedia

On June 28, 2011, I received this Message from God, “On this day of your life, Rebecca, we believe God wants you to know … that family is not a name for a group of people, but the quality of relationships between them. Relationships grounded in mutual love, trust, caring and forgiveness. In all the ups and all the downs of life. Look closely, – who is really your family, and who in truth are just strangers in for the ride? ” Amen! You can find the ‘Message from God’ app on Facebook. A few minutes before I read this message, I commented on a blog post about Choice. I wrote, “I now ‘choose’ to do what I want when I want. I’m no longer bound by ‘family’ duty and obligation. I say “no” and mean it; I say “yes” and mean it.” Coincidence, I think not.

As a society, we get caught up in the definition of family. According the Merriam Webster, family has the following definitions:

1. a group of individuals living under one roof and usually under one head : household

2 a. a group of persons of common ancestry : clan
2 b. a people or group of peoples regarded as deriving from a common stock : race

3 a. a group of people united by certain convictions or a common affiliation : fellowship
3 b. the staff of a high official (as the President)

4. a group of things related by common characteristics: as
4 a. a closely related series of elements or chemical compounds
4 b. a group of soils with similar chemical and physical properties (as texture, pH, and mineral content) that comprise a category ranking above the series and below the subgroup in soil classification.
4 c. a group of related languages descended from a single ancestral language

5 a. the basic unit in society traditionally consisting of two parents rearing their children; also : any of various social units differing from but regarded as equivalent to the traditional family
5 b. spouse and children <want to spend more time with my family>

Who has the right to tell any of us what the meaning of family is? I often think about children in foster care, where is there family? What about gays, lesbians, and transgender who are disowned by their ‘family’ because they just want to be who they are? For me, I no longer buy into the ‘traditional’ meaning of family. Most people would agree their family members are a piece of work. This is why people move out-of-state or visit family during the holidays. They don’t like to be around them or their drama-rama.

Relationships grounded in mutual love, trust, caring and forgiveness. In all the ups and all the downs of life. Look closely, – who is really your family, and who in truth are just strangers in for the ride?

You get to choose who you want in your family, and this doesn’t necessarily mean blood ties. Some of your ‘blood relations’ may be toxic to you. Do you really want to be around people who always complain and whine about their life? What about people who are energy vampires? Being around toxic people is not healthy for your mind, body, and soul.

The next time you feel guilty about forgoing family functions, stop and think if your ‘family’ is really your family. If you had a choice, would you hand pick these people to be in your life? Are your family relationships built on love, honesty, integrity, trust, forgiveness, and understanding? Or, are they built on duty, guilt, people pleasing, and obligation? Think about it. You’re no longer a child and don’t have to listen to your parents. You can choose who you want to be in your family, and who’s a long for the ride.

Rebecca

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7 Ways to Kick the Co-Dependency Habit

July 1, 2011 by
An L-kick

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Is co-dependency wreaking havoc on your life? I never realized how many co-dependent people were in my family. This doesn’t sit well with me because I’m a strong, independent woman who enjoys doing things for me. Before I ask for help, I research a problem and exhaust all resources. After I’m convinced that I need help, I seek it out. I don’t automatically ask for help without trying to figure something out on my own. Besides, I love a good challenge and wouldn’t want to miss out on an opportunity to learn something new. I set goals because they suit me not to please others. I also don’t expect people to ‘guess’ what I need — I tell them. One of my favorite quotes is, “What others think of me is none of my business.” Adopting this into your life could set you free.

Most people ask for help without seeking solutions to their problems. Their co-dependent ways can be a turn-off and irritate the people around them. Think about the people in your life. Do they turn to you every time they have a problem? How do they react when you ask them, “Did you try this or that?” Do they get mad or upset? Do they play the ‘poor me, victim, or I’m helpless” card? On the flip side, if you attract co-dependent people into your life, you may want to examine “why” this happens. Perhaps, you have a tendency to ‘save’ (rescue archetype) everyone who crosses your path. What are you getting out of this? How is it serving you? How is it serving others? Perhaps, you attract these people because you want to feel needed and love. There’s a big difference between wanting to help because you want to versus needing to help because you get something out it.

7 Ways to Kick the Codependency Habit

1. Journal your thoughts and feelings about co-dependency. Examine where you tend to be co-dependent in your life. What is your self-worth?

2. What are you afraid of? Being independent? Not hurting another person’s feelings? What’s stopping you from kicking the co-dependency habit?

3. Before you ask others for help, try to solve your own problems.

4. Stop believing and feeling you’re responsible for ‘fixing’ the problems of the people in your life.

5. Examine if you set goals based on what people will think of you. Do you seek their approval?

6. Stop manipulating others with your moods. For example, “I’m unhappy; therefore, you should stop what you’re doing and take care of me.”

7. Start telling people what you need instead of leaving them to guess.

If you want to improve your relationships, you may want to break the ‘co-dependency’ habit. Controlling others won’t work and can push them right out of your life. Stop telling people what to do — it’s not your job. They need to find their own path and figure it out. If they need your help, they’ll ask for it. It’s too exhausting and unhealthy for the people in your life to have to guess what you want and for you to set goals based on gaining their approval. Your goals are your goals; others may not understand ‘why’ you want to set and reach them. They don’t have to.

Break the co-dependency habit today, and live a happier, stress free life tomorrow!

Rebecca

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