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Are Your Emotions Holding You Hostage?

August 10, 2011 by

Question: I’ve noticed that my emotions have been out-of-whack lately. What can I do to get control over them? Sometimes, I think they’re holding me hostage!

Answer: Your emotions act like a GPS (global positioning system) because they tell you where you are in your life. Are you angry? Are you sad? Are you frustrated? Are you fed up with life in general? You get the idea. Use your ’emotional GPS’ to help you ‘sort’ through your emotions. Please don’t ‘stuff’ your emotions because they’ll resurface; you’ll have to deal with them eventually.

When you push against unwanted or uncomfortable emotions, you’re resistance to them will create more of the same. Instead of getting upset that you’re upset, take a deep breath and ‘feel’ your emotions. If you’re angry, feel it. This is healthier than ignoring your anger. Once you ‘feel’ the anger, you can process the emotion. Ask yourself the following questions:

  • Why am I angry?
  • What or who angered me?
  • What inside of me becomes angry when I communicate with or think of (fill in the blank)?
  • How can my anger be positive?

Once you go through this process, you’ll have a better understanding of where your anger is coming from. It usually has nothing to do with a person or situation. There’s something inside of you that wants to be acknowledged and healed.

Be grateful for ALL of your emotions because they have great lesson to teach you. Of course, when you’re ticked off, you probably won’t believe this. However, your emotions will help you to heal and move forward with your life if you feel them. Please don’t be afraid that feeling your emotions will create negativity in your life. The opposite is true. Once you recognize and process your emotions, you’ll be set free. Positive vibrations will come into your life because you made room for them. It’s something to look forward to.

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The Art of Saying and Meaning No

August 7, 2011 by

Question: How can I say “No” and mean it? I often say “Yes” when I want to say “No.” I’m sure my childhood has something to do with this. I could never speak up and say what I really felt. I always had to do stuff out of duty and obligation. It sucked!

Answer: The good news is you’re an adult and can say “No” and mean it. If the people in your life get mad or upset with you it’s their issue, not yours. To quote my law professor, “Too bad, so sad” which means it’s not your problem.

Many people say “Yes” when they want to say “No.” They say ‘Yes’ out of duty, obligation, or a sense of responsibility. Meanwhile they mumble under their breath as they bake cookies, cook a meal, drive a family member somewhere because they never learned how to drive, or whatever it is they agreed to do. Don’t be one of these people! You have every right to say “No” and mean it. The key is to be nice about it. There’s no reason to get snippy.

How to Say “No” and Mean It

1. Be polite. Remain calm and simply say “No, I can’t help this time.”

2. Don’t give an elaborate explanation. There’s no reason give a lengthy explanation as to ‘why’ you can’t help. If you’re busy or will be out-of-town, mention it. You could also say, “I’m overextended right now.” Otherwise, just say “No.”

3. Accept that people be mad or upset with you. You may have to push through your people-pleasing tendencies and get over it. You can’t and won’t please everyone all of the time. You must be willing to accept this and be alright with it. It’s not your job to keep people happy; it’s their job. If you can accept that saying “No” may tick-off family, friends, PTA members, co-workers, bosses, etc. you’ll have grasped the art of saying and meaning “no.”

Whenever you’re asked to do something, don’t do it because you feel you ‘have’ to. Simply say, “I’d love to help, but I can’t.” You don’t have to go into a lengthy explanation. Of course, if you’re going on vacation or will be out-of-town, you could mention it. Please don’t lie and say you’ll be out-of-town, when in fact, you won’t be. Lying is draining and unnecessary. Chances are you will get caught.

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A Generous Heart Can Become Resentful

August 4, 2011 by
Broken Heart symbol

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Fellow Students of Life,

Here’s the July 27, 2011 Life Path 5 reading from Horoscope.com:

If you find yourself feeling resentful on this 9-Day it’s time to take some action. You often have a generous and giving heart. However, some of the greater rewards of giving to others don’t come immediately. Often the effects of what you do for other people remain obscure for a long time, if they become apparent to you at all. This is where resentment can build. Trust that what you do really is worthwhile, even if you can’t see it. And do something to reward yourself regularly.

This reading was specifically for the Life Path 5; however, you too may feel resentful when you give and give and don’t receive in return. Your rewards may not be immediate; perhaps they won’t come at all. The key is to give because you want to give. Be selective; be discerning. You don’t always have to give of your time and money. You have the right to say “No” at anytime.

To avoid becoming resentful, do something for yourself such as getting a massage, Reiki treatment, or whatever it is you want. Realize how you’re contributing to the greater good when you choose to give of your time and money. Please don’t stop giving because you’re not receiving something immediately in return. Give for the sake of giving not to get something in return. If you do this, you won’t feel resentful.

Rebecca

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3 Foods That Can Affect Your Mood

July 27, 2011 by
Fruit on display at La Boqueria market in Barc...

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Question: Is it true that foods can affect your mood? What are they? Do I have to stop eating my favorite foods completely?

Answer: You’ve probably heard the saying, “You are what you eat.” Not only can foods affect your physical health, they can affect your mental health. If you’ve been feeling depleted, lethargic, or cranky, the foods you eat could be affecting you. How many cups of coffee do you have each day? How much alcohol do you drink? The answer to ‘why’ you feel the way you feel is in your pantry, refrigerator, and cupboards. It may be time to clean them out.

3 Foods That Can Affect Your Moods

1. Caffeine. Have you ever heard the saying, “Too much of a good thing.” Too much caffeine can make you feel jittery and out-of-balance. If you drink tons of pop (or soda), energy drinks, or coffee each day, it will definitely affect your mood. What happens when you crash? It’s not a good feeling. If you can’t go cold turkey or believe you need a little bit of caffeine, take baby steps to ‘wean’ yourself off of caffeine.

2. Not-so-smart carbs. Choose whole grains, legumes, fruits, and veggies, over white pastas, candy, pop (soda), pastries and desserts, and sugar. Sometimes potatoes get a bad rap — use your own judgment.

Remember that old saying about food, “Everything in moderation.”

3. Alcohol. This one usually gets people into trouble in more ways than one. Have you ever experienced an ‘all nighter or bender?’ How did you feel afterwards? You probably didn’t feel well. In fact, you may have spent the night in the bathroom.

Alcohol can be dangerous on many levels. It lowers our inhibitions and you may end up doing something you wish you never did. You could say things you never meant to say. Remember this the next time you go out with friends, attend a wedding or anniversary, company event, etc.

Do your best to choose the ‘right’ foods for you and your body. You may consider a detox or cleanse which cleans out the toxins from your body and mind. Before you embark on detoxing your body, check with your doctor. Not all cleansers and detoxes are the same. You don’t want to do anything that will interfere with any medications you take.

Change your eating habits, change your life!

Rebecca

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