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Words of the Past Can Impact Your Life Today

June 13, 2011 by
put out before thought out

Image by Will Lion via Flickr

For some reason, I was thinking about my elementary and high school days. I remembered how I was picked on or bullied in high school. My elementary Catholic School didn’t tolerate any “B.S” from the students. They had no problem expelling and suspending students. Public school was different from Catholic school in more ways than one. The kids seemed wilder and out of control to me. Ninth grade was a breeze for me because the education I received from my Catholic school was ahead of the public high school I attended. If I had to do it all over again, I would have accepted my aunt and uncle’s offer to attend a Catholic high school. The religion may not have resonated (still doesn’t) with me, but I would have received a better education which was more important. Live and learn!

I was an overweight teenager and was picked on by some older kids. I was also picked on a group of freshmen who started a nasty rumor about me. My parents were called into the office because the principal thought I made it up to get attention. I guess the good news was that nobody really believed the rumor. However, I thought the entire school did. I was amazed how karma’ bit these people in the butt. At the time I didn’t realize it was their karma coming back to bite them, but I do now.

Tip: Think before you speak.

I was thinking about my sister and how a junior high school teacher called my parents into her office to tell them my sister was ‘too stupid’ to pursue a nursing degree. My sister always wanted to be a nurse. Needless to say, that teacher’s words hit my sister harder than a fist. Her words still affect my sister; she still wants to become a nurse. The ignorant teacher planted seeds of defeat and doubt into my sister’s head. She’s trying to shake them off, but they still have a hold on her.

It’s amazing how our words can make or break a person. You may have had words of defeat and doubt spoken over you as a child. Find the courage within yourself to release them once and for all. Forgive the people because if you don’t, they’ll still have a hold on you. It’s up to you to take responsibility for your life. You can be, do, and have anything you want in life. How bad do you want it? What are you willing to do to grab hold of your desires? The first step is to acknowledge you deserve the best that life has to offer. The second step is to release and bless the past. The final step is to discover what makes your heart sing and go for it. Remember what Napoleon Hill said, “Don’t wait. The time will never be just right.” Allow no one to talk you out of your dreams. Do what you want.

Rebecca

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How to Stand in Your Power with Family

June 8, 2011 by
Cover of "Angels and Spirit Guides"

Cover of Angels and Spirit Guides

I’m the type of person that likes to live by the motto “Live and let live.” I don’t bother anyone and respect that people have their lives to live. What they do has absolutely nothing to with me or my happiness. For example, if my sister said to me, “I’m moving to Charleston, SC. Bye!” My response would be, “Fantastic! Good luck to you! Let me know when you’re settled, I’d love to visit.” I wouldn’t go on and on how she was leaving me, her kids (actually it would be my 17-year-old niece who’s heading to college in the fall), or our mother. My sister turns 45 on September 30 and can do what she wants. My happiness doesn’t depend on her living 15 minutes away for me. I also couldn’t force her to live in the Southwest which is where I want to move back to. Why is it that certain family members, who aren’t healthy for you, insist on pushing their way back into your life? How do you stand in your power and gently say, “No, thank you?”

How to stand in your power with family

1. Be honest. Sometimes you need to tell people what you think of them. Stay calm and don’t raise your voice.

2. Say “No” and mean it. If you disappoint or ‘tick-off’ people, oh well! If you say “Yes,” when you want to say “No,” you’ll be miserable and won’t come from a place of authenticity or love.

3. Learn to be disliked. This is a tough one for most people, especially women. I realized this is an issue for me. I’d rather be happy than hang out with people whom I don’t want to hang out with. I’d rather be happy and do my own thing than be sucked into drama.

4. Call upon your angels, spirit guides, and ascended masters. I’ve been doing this, but I do question if it works. I still call upon Archangel Michael, God, Quan Yin, and others to help guide me and release people and situations from my life that are toxic to me.

5. Step out in nature. Being in nature can refresh you. Go to the park or sit outside. Allow your mind to wander, listen to the birds sing, or watch the clouds in the sky. Walk in the grass or hug a tree. Give all your stress to Mother Earth and allow it to be transmuted into love.

6. Love you! No matter what, love and accept yourself. Remember, you are responsible for you and no one else.

I have great respect for people who own who they are. They don’t give a flying leap about what others think. They live their lives the way they want to without a care in the world. They’re very powerful and have no guilt about telling people what they think of them. I strive to be like this. I feel as if certain people are siphoning my light and energy from me; it’s really starting to irritate me.

I’ve studied metaphysical and spiritual topics now for four years and according to all of the authors I’ve read, all of us have angels and spirit guides who supposed to help us. I’m constantly giving people and situations to God and the angels so they can deal with it. Why isn’t it working? I have no desire to be around people who drain me. To quote Abraham-Hicks, “One minute you’re in the vortex and the next minute you’re out. What happened?”

I’ve learned that I must stand in my power and be who I am. If I don’t accept who I am, I won’t be happy. And when I’m not happy, no one will be happy. It’s like that saying, “Happy wife, happy life!” Seriously though, no one has the right to infringe upon your space and serenity. I like what Oprah said on her farewell show, “Don’t wait for someone to save you, save yourself. Take responsibility for your own life.” I wish certain family members of mine would hear this.

Rebecca

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Life Can be like a Bitter Sweet Symphony

May 30, 2011 by
Bitter Sweet Symphony

Image via Wikipedia

I love 1990s and would go back in time to that decade if I could. I know most people would say, “No, no. I wouldn’t go back in time. What if I wouldn’t learn the lessons I’ve learned? What if my life would change drastically?” My response to that is, “If I could learn then what I know now my life would flow smoother and be easier.”

One of my favorite bands from the 1990s was and is The Verve. Their hit Bitter Sweet Symphony sums up how life in the 21st century can be. It can be like a “Bitter Sweet Symphony.”

I’m like many people who ‘woke up’ in the 21st century and understand that my life is my responsibility. As an adult, I have the power to change what I don’t like about my life. I’m no longer a child. I don’t have to listen to former teachers, parents, aunts and uncles, grandparents, bosses, co-workers, etc. However, some of us still get ‘sucked into’ family drama that rips us out of the vortex. It’s a vicious cycle that can be stopped with focus, determination, and time.

Let’s take a look at lyrics from The Verve’s Bitter Sweet Symphony

‘Cause it’s a bittersweet symphony, this life
Trying to make ends meet
You’re a slave to money then you die
I’ll take you down the only road I’ve ever been down
You know the one that takes you to the places
where all the veins meet yeah

No change, I can’t change
I can’t change, I can’t change
But I’m here in my mind
I am here in my mind
But I’m a million different people
from one day to the next
I can’t change my mind
No, no, no, no, no, no, no,no,no,no,no,no(fading away)

Well I never pray
But tonight I’m on my knees yeah
I need to hear some sounds that recognize the pain in me, yeah
I let the melody shine, let it cleanse my mind, I feel free now
But the airways are clean and there’s nobody singing to me now

I think this song can be and is the anthem for most people today, me included. Working in a career you don’t like can suck the life out of you. I’ve been there and done that. There’s absolutely no joy. You become a worker bee. You can’t wait until Friday and dread Sunday. The only reason you stay is for the money. Today, I’m trying the entrepreneurial route and it’s not paying off like I thought or expected it to be. Then again, maybe I need to be patient. This isn’t my strong suit, but I’m open to becoming more patient.

Perhaps your relationships are in turmoil. I’ve worked and continue to work on myself! I must have every self-help book that was ever written. Okay, that’s an exaggeration. But, I have a lot of books and podcasts. What isn’t working? I think it’s me. I think I’m like a lot of people — I get in my own way. I know and understand the message each author conveys but there’s a part of me that’s still holding on. Why? It’s probably fear. Fear that I’ll be alone, fear that success will change me, fear that success will disconnect me from my mom and sister, fear that my work will be in vain, and just plain old fear. Isn’t it amazing how a four-letter word can have power over you if you allow it?

What’s the cure to the Bitter Sweet Symphony known as life? Feel the fear and do it anyway. Get clear about what you want. What are your hopes and dreams? Throw caution to the wind and take a risk. Don’t look back or listen to the naysayers who try to talk you out of your dreams. What’s the worst that could happen? You become successful, you attract investors to your business or film project, you attract a lover that’s meant for you, and you attract the life you always wanted and wished you had. That’s not too shabby.

Rebecca

Related articles
  • The Verve – Bitter Sweet Symphony (lyndonology.com)
  • Bitter and Sweet Food for Thought (englishforteenagers.org)
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Guilt Can Crush Your Body, Mind and Soul

May 28, 2011 by
Guilty

Image by What What via Flickr

I attended Catholic School from Kindergarten through the eighth grade and it wasn’t all that great. Needless to say, like most former Catholic School kids, I’m no longer a practicing Catholic. The amount of guilt put upon us was extraordinary. Of course, it didn’t wreak havoc on my life until I reached adulthood. I feel guilty if I eat my favorite foods. I feel guilty if I don’t wallow with family members who can’t take responsibility for their lives. I feel guilty for not wallowing with people who get invested in world events. I feel guilty for having more of a connection to my two cats than I do certain people. I feel guilty for wanting to look and feel good. I feel guilty if I don’t feel the pain’ of others. I feel guilty for wanting a better life than my parents and grandparents. I feel guilty for wanting to live a footloose and fancy free lifestyle that’s suits me but others may frown upon. I feel guilty for being on a spiritual path that may not resonate with others, especially family members. I feel guilty for not wanting to get involved in the lives of family members. My philosophy is, “It’s your life do what you want.” I feel guilty for not wanting to spend time with certain people because their energy and constant complaining grates my nerves. I feel guilty for not wanting to live in the Midwest near my family. I feel guilty for wanting to be surrounded by people who I relate to — people who are kindred spirits (not necessarily family). Guilty, guilty, guilty races through my mind; I picture a judge pounding his gavel and sentencing me to a life of guilt!

I believe going to Catholic School coupled with my dysfunctional upbringing really did a number on me. First, growing up within an alcoholic family wasn’t fun. My father’s parents did a number on him, and he ended up passing certain beliefs and thoughts onto to me and my sister. Now, I have to undo all the bullshit that was spoken over me. For example, my father was held responsible for the actions of his brothers. Of course, he passed this illogical thinking onto my sister who felt major responsibility for me. If I did something wrong, she got in trouble for it. This never made sense to me. A few years before my father died, he told me I would be responsible for the family. What are we, the Corleone family? We’re not in the mafia! Second, I never felt connected to my family. That’s just the way it is. I always believed that I was adopted or dropped from the heavens into my family. Third, I’m highly independent. I like to do my own thing, on my own terms. I prefer to come and go as I please. I prefer to pay my own bills. I also cherish my space and enjoy being quiet, especially in the morning. Rules are meant to be examined and perhaps rewritten. Sometimes they don’t serve the greater good.

I don’t agree with wallowing in self-pity and playing the “Poor Me” song over and over again. All of us make choices in our lives. As an adult, I know I can be, do, and have anything in life. However, that pesky 5-letter word (guilt) is still wreaking havoc on my life.

How to let go of guilt

1. Speak your truth. This may be uncomfortable at first, but once you tell people what you think of them (gently) and start saying “No” and mean it, you’ll feel better.

2. Stay present. The past is over with, and the future hasn’t been written yet. Your future will be created based on your feelings and thoughts in the present. To stay in the present, say out loud what you see in front of you. Hearing your voice and words will bring you back to the present.

3. Stop the blame game. Your parents and others did the best they could. Learn from their mistakes. Be grateful for the contrast because it will help you figure out what you want.

4. Notice your thoughts and feelings. Don’t stuff your feelings or brush them off. Sit with them for a while. You’ll be able to move forward once you process them.

5. Let go of judgment. This can be tough. Judging another means you judge yourself.

6. Be of service. Volunteer at your favorite charity or begin your own. Give back and help others but makes sure you’re doing it because you want to not because you want to get something in return.

7. Keep your word. If you say you’re going to be somewhere at 5 pm, be on time. If you’ll be late, make a phone call or send a text message.

8. Listen to your intuition. This can be tricky you have constant mental chatter in your head. Get quiet and listen to the whispers on the wind; listen to your body and how you feel. Trust your instinct.

9. Forgive. Forgive yourself and others because it will set you free. Remember, forgiveness doesn’t mean, “What you did to me was all right and we’re totally cool.” It simply releases you from the person or situation. You’ll like a burden has been lifted off of you.

I watched Oprah’s last show and she said the following, “What is all life? What is every flower, every rock, every tree, every human being? Energy. And you’re responsible for the energy you create for yourself, and you’re responsible for the energy that you bring to others. Don’t wait for somebody else to save you, to complete you, to fix you.” I would add, “You are responsible for your own happiness.” I wish my family would read this. I’m not responsible for them.

I know I have the power to release me from the Guilt Prison but it’s a push pull. I feel bad that I have no desire to communicate with certain family members, but I can’t help how I feel. I visualize them with the sun above their heads and gold coins falling around because this symbolizes happiness and prosperity to me. I ask God and the angels to help them. I can’t force them to change; it’s not my job. I send them lots of love, but I won’t subject myself to their shenanigans. My connection with God, source energy, universal intelligence, etc. and feeling good is priority number one!

Rebecca

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