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How to Reduce and Cut Your Exposure to Toxic People

August 20, 2011 by
Scissors

Image by semuthutan via Flickr

Question: I feel some people are toxic to me. The kicker is the only communication (if any) I have with them is through Facebook. These people really don’t have anything to do with me; we don’t have anything in common except being related. I would like to reduce my exposure to them. Help!

Answer: The question to ask is, “Does this honor me? How does this honor me?Does this relationship honor me? It may be time to reduce your exposure to toxic people.

How to reduce your exposure to toxic people

1. If you’re having issues with toxic people, be honest about the relationships you have with them. It may be in your best interest to reduce the amount of time you spend with them. Of course, you may have to cut them out of your life completely. The choice is yours.

2. Clear your chakras through meditation. Your third chakra is probably being sucked dry by toxic people. Call on Archangel Michael and ask him to cut your chords and clear your chakras.

3. Just say No. Find the courage to honor you and say “No” to people. If they get upset with you that’s their problem; they’ll have to work it out. It has nothing to do with you — it has to do with them. Move forward with your life and don’t look back.

Affirmations from Sandra Anne Taylor

  • I have so much to be grateful for. Every day, I notice these things more and more. I look around and am satisfied.
  • I’m letting go of the negative interpretations of my life. I find many wonderful things to appreciate each day.
  • I often take time for single moments of appreciation. I smile and name what I enjoy. I say “Thank You” to the universe.
  • I appreciate myself and my life more and more each day. I deserve my OWN gratitude.

You can reduce your exposure to toxic people no matter who they are including family. This can be scary but it will behoove you to limit the time you communicate and spend with these people. Send them lots of love and wish them well. See them happy and healthy. However, it’s up to them if they’re open to receiving your loving energy. They may not be open to it or want to receive. Be okay with this. Remember, it’s not your job to ‘fix’ people.

Rebecca

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How Pets Can Heal You

August 17, 2011 by
tabby cat

Image via Wikipedia

My Fellow Students of Life,

I love animals! I grew up with dogs, rabbits, fish, and birds. I never had cats until my adult life. I adopted my black and white cat Benny from Mixed Up Mutts who partners with PetSmart. I adopted my tabby cat CeCe from The Arizona Humane Society. They are a joy to have in my life. More importantly, they’re a good way for me to get and stay grounded. If I’m having an ‘off’ day, I’ll pet one of my cats and immediately shift my energy. The focus is off of me and my issues and onto my cats. Before you know it, my troubles melt away and they aren’t important anymore.

Animals are such agreeable friends – they ask no questions, they pass no criticisms. ~George Eliot

An animal’s eyes have the power to speak a great language. ~Martin Buber

Animals have these advantages over man: they never hear the clock strike, they die without any idea of death, they have no theologians to instruct them, their last moments are not disturbed by unwelcome and unpleasant ceremonies, their funerals cost them nothing, and no one starts lawsuits over their wills. ~Voltaire, letter to Count Schomberg, 31 August 1769

It often happens that a man is more humanely related to a cat or dog than to any human being. ~Henry David Thoreau

If you’d like to get a pet, consider adopting an animal from your local animal shelter. They usually hold special events to promote the adoption of animals from shelters — some accept donations in lieu of an adoption fee. It’s a win-win situation! All shelter animals deserve loving, forever homes. Adopt one today and watch how your new friend will add joy to your life. Adopting a pet can be a life saver in more ways than one.

Rebecca

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What’s the Number One Relationship in Your Life?

August 9, 2011 by

What’s the number one relationship in your life? Chances are you said one of the following:

  • Spouse
  • Life  partner
  • Children
  • Career
  • Family
  • Religion
  • Friends
  • Significant other
  • Business connections

If you said the following, “The number one relationship is with me,” you have a good understanding of how important this is. If you don’t have a good relationship with you, how will you have one with another? You won’t be able to. You’ll keep repeating self-sabotaging behaviors and patterns and drive yourself nuts!

Before you jump into a relationship, cultivate a relationship with you. Learn to set healthy boundaries; enforce them. Learn to love yourself fully and you’ll be able to love others fully. Everyone has flaws — no one is perfect. If you can acknowledge and accept this, you’ll be fine.

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The Art of Saying and Meaning No

August 7, 2011 by

Question: How can I say “No” and mean it? I often say “Yes” when I want to say “No.” I’m sure my childhood has something to do with this. I could never speak up and say what I really felt. I always had to do stuff out of duty and obligation. It sucked!

Answer: The good news is you’re an adult and can say “No” and mean it. If the people in your life get mad or upset with you it’s their issue, not yours. To quote my law professor, “Too bad, so sad” which means it’s not your problem.

Many people say “Yes” when they want to say “No.” They say ‘Yes’ out of duty, obligation, or a sense of responsibility. Meanwhile they mumble under their breath as they bake cookies, cook a meal, drive a family member somewhere because they never learned how to drive, or whatever it is they agreed to do. Don’t be one of these people! You have every right to say “No” and mean it. The key is to be nice about it. There’s no reason to get snippy.

How to Say “No” and Mean It

1. Be polite. Remain calm and simply say “No, I can’t help this time.”

2. Don’t give an elaborate explanation. There’s no reason give a lengthy explanation as to ‘why’ you can’t help. If you’re busy or will be out-of-town, mention it. You could also say, “I’m overextended right now.” Otherwise, just say “No.”

3. Accept that people be mad or upset with you. You may have to push through your people-pleasing tendencies and get over it. You can’t and won’t please everyone all of the time. You must be willing to accept this and be alright with it. It’s not your job to keep people happy; it’s their job. If you can accept that saying “No” may tick-off family, friends, PTA members, co-workers, bosses, etc. you’ll have grasped the art of saying and meaning “no.”

Whenever you’re asked to do something, don’t do it because you feel you ‘have’ to. Simply say, “I’d love to help, but I can’t.” You don’t have to go into a lengthy explanation. Of course, if you’re going on vacation or will be out-of-town, you could mention it. Please don’t lie and say you’ll be out-of-town, when in fact, you won’t be. Lying is draining and unnecessary. Chances are you will get caught.

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