How to Get a Grip on Control

Do you feel the ‘need’ to control everything and everyone in your life? Do you have anxiety if you’re not in control? If you control everything in your life, you’re not really living. In fact, you’re probably exhausted. There are many reasons why you believe you must be in control. Perhaps, you were mentally, emotionally, or physically abused and feel safe by being in control. Maybe you took control of a ‘bad’ situation when you were a child to protect younger siblings. Whatever the reason, it’s time to ease up on control; otherwise, you’ll put yourself into an early grave.

How to Get a Grip on Control

1. Get help. Seek counseling and or life coaching. Speaking to someone about your control issues is the first step to finding a solution for it. There’s nothing shameful about therapy. You’ll be able to process emotions you’ve probably kept bottled up for years.

2. Allow people to be who they are. Unfortunately, you can’t ‘force’ people to something they’re not. If you do, they’ll resent you. Forcing others to be what you expect or want them to be (especially kids) will drive them away from you.

3. No one is perfect. Trying to be perfect and controlling others so they can be perfect isn’t healthy. Plus, it sounds like a full-time job. You don’t want that, do you?

4. Give yourself permission to let go. There’s a saying, “Let go, and let God.” You have the right to be happy. If you stop controlling everyone and everything in your life, you’ll be free. When’s the last time you had some fun? Let go once in a while and don’t worry so much.

5. Journal. This is a good way to find out ‘why’ you feel the need to be in control. When did your controlling behavior start? Why the need to keep up a facade that everything is fine? What don’t you want people to see? Believe it or not, we all have flaws. It’s alright.

You may think having control is productive but it’s not — it’s a paradox. Being controlling won’t provide you with happiness, safety, and security. It causes unhappiness, stress, tension, anxiety, unnecessary worry, and other unhealthful emotions. Find the courage within yourself to loosen and let go of your grip on control. You’ll feel lighter and as if a ‘weight’ has been lifted off of you.