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How to Reduce and Cut Your Exposure to Toxic People

August 20, 2011 by
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Question: I feel some people are toxic to me. The kicker is the only communication (if any) I have with them is through Facebook. These people really don’t have anything to do with me; we don’t have anything in common except being related. I would like to reduce my exposure to them. Help!

Answer: The question to ask is, “Does this honor me? How does this honor me?Does this relationship honor me? It may be time to reduce your exposure to toxic people.

How to reduce your exposure to toxic people

1. If you’re having issues with toxic people, be honest about the relationships you have with them. It may be in your best interest to reduce the amount of time you spend with them. Of course, you may have to cut them out of your life completely. The choice is yours.

2. Clear your chakras through meditation. Your third chakra is probably being sucked dry by toxic people. Call on Archangel Michael and ask him to cut your chords and clear your chakras.

3. Just say No. Find the courage to honor you and say “No” to people. If they get upset with you that’s their problem; they’ll have to work it out. It has nothing to do with you — it has to do with them. Move forward with your life and don’t look back.

Affirmations from Sandra Anne Taylor

  • I have so much to be grateful for. Every day, I notice these things more and more. I look around and am satisfied.
  • I’m letting go of the negative interpretations of my life. I find many wonderful things to appreciate each day.
  • I often take time for single moments of appreciation. I smile and name what I enjoy. I say “Thank You” to the universe.
  • I appreciate myself and my life more and more each day. I deserve my OWN gratitude.

You can reduce your exposure to toxic people no matter who they are including family. This can be scary but it will behoove you to limit the time you communicate and spend with these people. Send them lots of love and wish them well. See them happy and healthy. However, it’s up to them if they’re open to receiving your loving energy. They may not be open to it or want to receive. Be okay with this. Remember, it’s not your job to ‘fix’ people.

Rebecca

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Are Your Emotions Holding You Hostage?

August 10, 2011 by

Question: I’ve noticed that my emotions have been out-of-whack lately. What can I do to get control over them? Sometimes, I think they’re holding me hostage!

Answer: Your emotions act like a GPS (global positioning system) because they tell you where you are in your life. Are you angry? Are you sad? Are you frustrated? Are you fed up with life in general? You get the idea. Use your ’emotional GPS’ to help you ‘sort’ through your emotions. Please don’t ‘stuff’ your emotions because they’ll resurface; you’ll have to deal with them eventually.

When you push against unwanted or uncomfortable emotions, you’re resistance to them will create more of the same. Instead of getting upset that you’re upset, take a deep breath and ‘feel’ your emotions. If you’re angry, feel it. This is healthier than ignoring your anger. Once you ‘feel’ the anger, you can process the emotion. Ask yourself the following questions:

  • Why am I angry?
  • What or who angered me?
  • What inside of me becomes angry when I communicate with or think of (fill in the blank)?
  • How can my anger be positive?

Once you go through this process, you’ll have a better understanding of where your anger is coming from. It usually has nothing to do with a person or situation. There’s something inside of you that wants to be acknowledged and healed.

Be grateful for ALL of your emotions because they have great lesson to teach you. Of course, when you’re ticked off, you probably won’t believe this. However, your emotions will help you to heal and move forward with your life if you feel them. Please don’t be afraid that feeling your emotions will create negativity in your life. The opposite is true. Once you recognize and process your emotions, you’ll be set free. Positive vibrations will come into your life because you made room for them. It’s something to look forward to.

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What’s the Number One Relationship in Your Life?

August 9, 2011 by

What’s the number one relationship in your life? Chances are you said one of the following:

  • Spouse
  • Life  partner
  • Children
  • Career
  • Family
  • Religion
  • Friends
  • Significant other
  • Business connections

If you said the following, “The number one relationship is with me,” you have a good understanding of how important this is. If you don’t have a good relationship with you, how will you have one with another? You won’t be able to. You’ll keep repeating self-sabotaging behaviors and patterns and drive yourself nuts!

Before you jump into a relationship, cultivate a relationship with you. Learn to set healthy boundaries; enforce them. Learn to love yourself fully and you’ll be able to love others fully. Everyone has flaws — no one is perfect. If you can acknowledge and accept this, you’ll be fine.

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The Art of Saying and Meaning No

August 7, 2011 by

Question: How can I say “No” and mean it? I often say “Yes” when I want to say “No.” I’m sure my childhood has something to do with this. I could never speak up and say what I really felt. I always had to do stuff out of duty and obligation. It sucked!

Answer: The good news is you’re an adult and can say “No” and mean it. If the people in your life get mad or upset with you it’s their issue, not yours. To quote my law professor, “Too bad, so sad” which means it’s not your problem.

Many people say “Yes” when they want to say “No.” They say ‘Yes’ out of duty, obligation, or a sense of responsibility. Meanwhile they mumble under their breath as they bake cookies, cook a meal, drive a family member somewhere because they never learned how to drive, or whatever it is they agreed to do. Don’t be one of these people! You have every right to say “No” and mean it. The key is to be nice about it. There’s no reason to get snippy.

How to Say “No” and Mean It

1. Be polite. Remain calm and simply say “No, I can’t help this time.”

2. Don’t give an elaborate explanation. There’s no reason give a lengthy explanation as to ‘why’ you can’t help. If you’re busy or will be out-of-town, mention it. You could also say, “I’m overextended right now.” Otherwise, just say “No.”

3. Accept that people be mad or upset with you. You may have to push through your people-pleasing tendencies and get over it. You can’t and won’t please everyone all of the time. You must be willing to accept this and be alright with it. It’s not your job to keep people happy; it’s their job. If you can accept that saying “No” may tick-off family, friends, PTA members, co-workers, bosses, etc. you’ll have grasped the art of saying and meaning “no.”

Whenever you’re asked to do something, don’t do it because you feel you ‘have’ to. Simply say, “I’d love to help, but I can’t.” You don’t have to go into a lengthy explanation. Of course, if you’re going on vacation or will be out-of-town, you could mention it. Please don’t lie and say you’ll be out-of-town, when in fact, you won’t be. Lying is draining and unnecessary. Chances are you will get caught.

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