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Stop! Proceed With Caution to the Self-Help Book Section

July 30, 2008 by

Many people are searching for spirituality and ways to transform their lives. They purchase every self-help book that sits on the bookshelves of Barnes and Noble and the local bookstore such as Changing Hands Bookstore.

Please be cautious when reading books by people such as Dr. Dyer, Ekchart Tolle, Deepak Chopra, and other “spiritual, transformation gurus.” They offer good advice, but take it with a grain of salt! Meaning: do not take the information too seriously. These people are not God and do not know everything there is to know about life. What works for some people may not work for all people. It’s not a “one-size fits all” transformation process.

Taking the words of someone, no matter how many degrees they hold, lectures they give, and radio shows they do can be dangerous. Those who buy into these self-help books with their “heart and soul” are in danger of losing their identity and could make their life worse.

For example, those who are people-pleasers may be working on identifying why they are people-pleasers and how to stop. Dr. Dyer, who is often heard quoting Lao Tzu and the Wisdom of the Tao, is famous for telling people that the only thing that matters is service to others. People-pleasers may interpret his information as “I don’t matter, it’s not about me, it’s about doing for other people and not myself.” How healthy are these messages being sent to people who may be people-pleasers? Of course, Dr. Dyer has no idea what types of people are reading his books or does he?

Too bad self-help books do not come with warning labels like the ones found on CDs. Some CDs have parental warnings stating that the lyrics are explicit. Self-help books could have warning labels such as the “words in this book are the opinions of the author.” For further information on the topic, see the bibliography, research, and draw your own conclusion.

Filed Under: Personal Development Tagged With: ,

How Pets Can Teach Us Empathy

July 22, 2008 by

Pets are great companions and teachers. They love us unconditionally just as we are and do not expect us to change. One lesson pets teach us is empathy. The following excerpt is from Buzzle.com: “In one study, we found that 3- and 4-year-olds with pets were better able to understand the feelings of other children than those without pets,” Poresky says. He also says there are life lessons to be learned from taking responsibility for a pet. “A dog or cat won’t always do what the child wants them to do, and that can be very important,” he says. “This helps kids learn that there are other perspectives and ways of looking at things.”

Perhaps the world would be a better place if all of us were given a pet to care for when we were kids. Studies show that children who are given pets learn how to understand the feelings of others, learn responsibility, and life from different perspectives. They also learn loyalty and how to selflessly give of themselves. Sometimes these lessons need to be re-learned when we become adults.

My kitten Salem taught me how to practice non-judgment and empathy. Even though his life was short, he will always be with me. Salem had a rough start in life. God only knows how long he sat on the patio of the first floor apartment that is below me. He probably was there at three weeks old; I took him in when he was five weeks old. It was not easy for the both us. The poor thing had issues and so did I. [Read more…]

Filed Under: Pets Tagged With: ,

Who Else is Fast Food Illiterate?

July 20, 2008 by

Being fast food illiterate is a good thing! For those people who have embarked on a “weight loss” journey, it can be daunting to go back to fast food. Once in awhile, it may be necessary to stop at a fast food restaurant to grab something “quick” to eat. What if you’ve been away from fast food for a long period of time? How do you order? Do you choose drive-thru or go inside the restaurant to place your order? Does the menu have a “lighter” side?

The pressure is on to order the right type of take-out, especially if you choose to go through the drive-thru. A long line of cars filled with “regulars” can form behind you and they want their fast food and they want it now! It’s best to be prepared before walking into a situation that can become heated.

Fast Food 101

The regular fast food restaurants such as McDonald’s, Wendy’s, Taco Bell, or Burger King can be found throughout the USA and other countries. Some fast food restaurants like Sonic are scattered throughout the USA. Of course, Subway is the best way to go, just look at Jared! Subway is global so finding one will not be a problem. This is fantastic for travelers who watch their diet when they travel.

Do research on fast food restaurants. The majority of them can be found online. Review the menu and nutritional content. The burger that gets a “bad rap” may be the healthiest thing on the menu; looks can be deceiving. For example, a Caesar Salad with Chicken from Boston Market has 500 calories with 410 calories from fat. Whereas a Junior Hamburger from Wendy’s has 230 calories with 70 calories from fat. Hold the french fries! Choose a side of Mandarin Oranges because they have 80 calories with no fat!

When in doubt, go inside the fast food restaurant. Stand in the back and peruse the menu. Allow the regulars to place their order first because they will do it with the speed of light. This is a win win situation. They get their food and are in and out. You take your time and feel great about your purchase. The bonus is that you and your diet will come away unscathed!

Filed Under: Fitness Tagged With:

How to Avoid Desk Rage in the Workplace

July 20, 2008 by

Work relationships can be pleasant or very intense. Employers must be aware of “desk rage.” Just like road rage, desk rage can be deadly. Employees are overworked, underpaid, and stressed out to the max! Mix in a little economic uncertainty, debt, and family troubles into the pot and employers have a recipe for disaster in the workplace. Before employers know it, they have a mess that may not be easy to clean up with disciplinary action such as firing.

What is desk rage? People who come to work that are angry, grumpy, ill-tempered, insulting, or worse. Anything from acts such as impatience, yelling, gossiping, backstabbing, throwing things, stealing office supplies, and abusing sick days are part of desk rage.

What causes desk rage? Americans who are coping with woes of rising costs, debt, family problems, and job uncertainty suffer from desk rage. Employees with the least power are more than likely to show desk rage because they feel they are at the mercy of everyone else. Those who do not seek help to deal with their emotions in a more healthy way are a disaster waiting to happen.

What can employees and employers do about desk rage? Breathing and walking are great ways to “cool off” the emotions. Taking 10 deep breaths and focusing on each breath is a great way to calm down. Getting up and going for a walk is another technique that will help to curb desk rage. Not only is walking great exercise but it is a way for people to change their focus.

How to avoid desk rage? Change your thoughts, change your life. A job is just that, it’s a job. If employees feel that their “job” is their life then they have deeper issues to resolve. Don’t buy into the doom and gloom speak of others. Many people thrive in good and bad economic times. Choose to think your own thoughts.

Listening to and partaking in gossip will come back to haunt you. Just because some employees have gathered around the water cooler to talk about “Bob” does not mean you have to join in the conversation. Remember the saying, “what goes around comes around” and it will get you. Karma is powerful; we’re all in this together.

Another way to avoid desk rage is to have an “attitude of gratitude.” Employees could be grateful they have jobs because others have lost theirs. Just something to think about before performing an act of desk rage.

To learn more about what causes “desk rage” and how to prevent it, please visit News.Yahoo.com and MSNBC.com.

Filed Under: Professional Development Tagged With: , ,
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