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What’s the Real Meaning of Family?

July 4, 2011 by

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On June 28, 2011, I received this Message from God, “On this day of your life, Rebecca, we believe God wants you to know … that family is not a name for a group of people, but the quality of relationships between them. Relationships grounded in mutual love, trust, caring and forgiveness. In all the ups and all the downs of life. Look closely, – who is really your family, and who in truth are just strangers in for the ride? ” Amen! You can find the ‘Message from God’ app on Facebook. A few minutes before I read this message, I commented on a blog post about Choice. I wrote, “I now ‘choose’ to do what I want when I want. I’m no longer bound by ‘family’ duty and obligation. I say “no” and mean it; I say “yes” and mean it.” Coincidence, I think not.

As a society, we get caught up in the definition of family. According the Merriam Webster, family has the following definitions:

1. a group of individuals living under one roof and usually under one head : household

2 a. a group of persons of common ancestry : clan
2 b. a people or group of peoples regarded as deriving from a common stock : race

3 a. a group of people united by certain convictions or a common affiliation : fellowship
3 b. the staff of a high official (as the President)

4. a group of things related by common characteristics: as
4 a. a closely related series of elements or chemical compounds
4 b. a group of soils with similar chemical and physical properties (as texture, pH, and mineral content) that comprise a category ranking above the series and below the subgroup in soil classification.
4 c. a group of related languages descended from a single ancestral language

5 a. the basic unit in society traditionally consisting of two parents rearing their children; also : any of various social units differing from but regarded as equivalent to the traditional family
5 b. spouse and children <want to spend more time with my family>

Who has the right to tell any of us what the meaning of family is? I often think about children in foster care, where is there family? What about gays, lesbians, and transgender who are disowned by their ‘family’ because they just want to be who they are? For me, I no longer buy into the ‘traditional’ meaning of family. Most people would agree their family members are a piece of work. This is why people move out-of-state or visit family during the holidays. They don’t like to be around them or their drama-rama.

Relationships grounded in mutual love, trust, caring and forgiveness. In all the ups and all the downs of life. Look closely, – who is really your family, and who in truth are just strangers in for the ride?

You get to choose who you want in your family, and this doesn’t necessarily mean blood ties. Some of your ‘blood relations’ may be toxic to you. Do you really want to be around people who always complain and whine about their life? What about people who are energy vampires? Being around toxic people is not healthy for your mind, body, and soul.

The next time you feel guilty about forgoing family functions, stop and think if your ‘family’ is really your family. If you had a choice, would you hand pick these people to be in your life? Are your family relationships built on love, honesty, integrity, trust, forgiveness, and understanding? Or, are they built on duty, guilt, people pleasing, and obligation? Think about it. You’re no longer a child and don’t have to listen to your parents. You can choose who you want to be in your family, and who’s a long for the ride.

Rebecca

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