Would You Date Yourself?

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I was listening to Robert Ohotto‘s latest Soul Connexions podcast about creating a vision board. He spoke about how people use vision boards to create a love relationship. They put pictures of men or women they’re attracted to on the vision board and wait for the universe to deliver them to the doorstep. Some put affirmations on the vision board and feel this all that’s needed to attract a partner. Unfortunately, there’s more to it than affirming and wishing. If you’re not in a place to ‘accept’ an intimate relationship, you won’t attract one.

Robert suggests writing down what you want in a lover such as eye and hair color, build, morals and values, career path, spiritual or not, same religious background, millionaire, etc. Write everything down you’re looking for in a partner. Review what you wrote and ask the following questions:

  • Is this what I want in a partner?
  • Is this what I was taught to want in a partner?
  • Is this what my parents or religion dictate?
  • What does my heart want?
  • What am I really looking for?
  • How can I have a soul connection with myself?
  • How can I have a soul connection with another person if I don’t love me?
  • How much of what I want in an intimate relationship has been influenced by others?

You may be surprised that you don’t want what you thought you want. You may find that you’ve been influenced to want a certain type partner. This may catch you off guard. Now, you need figure out what you really do want. Look at your parent’s relationship? How would you rate it? What did you learn from it? What about your grandparent’s relationships? What about celebrity relationships? Get down and dirty and really think about what you want in a life partner.

“You cannot give someone else an intimacy that you first do not have yourself, nor can they offer you an intimacy they don’t have with themselves.” Robert Ohotto

You may not really want to date and are being swayed by parents or society that tells you that you must date, get married, and have kids. If you’re still wounded from your childhood, you may not attract a ‘healthy’ soul connection. In fact, you may not want to date you! Peeling back the layers will help you get to the ‘core’ of you who are so you’ll be able to attract the ‘right’ partner for you.

Would you date you? Think about it. Would you want to be in an intimate relationship with you? Do you enjoy your own company? Do you like to be around you? The answer may surprise you. Don’t fret about it. You can shift your mind, body, and soul by getting real. Begin to peel back the layers of who you are and heal the parts of you that require healing. Forgive yourself and others and you’ll be set free. That loving relationship you desire will now be able to come into your life.


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