“The heaviest lifting builds the strongest muscles.” ~ Robert Ohotto, from the Self-abandonment in Relationships Soul Connexions radio show

My Fellow Students of Life,

Who are you in relationships? Are you a child? Are you a teenager? Are you a victim? What about a martyr? If you’re dating and looking for a ‘sugar daddy or mommy,’ you’re approaching dating from a ‘child’s’ point-of-view. You’re looking for someone to take care of you instead of you taking care of you. This may be a shock to some of you but identifying who you are in your relationships explains a lot about them.

If you’re constantly fighting with your parents, and you’re 40-years-old, you could still be in the ‘child’ role of the relationship. You could be in the ‘victim’ role as well. While it’s easy to blame parents, there comes a point where you must take responsibility for your own life. Your parents aren’t responsible for you — you are. True, they may have sucked at parenting, but it’s up to you to ‘shift’ your life for the better. Release stinking thinking and shake-off a self-defeating attitude. You’re no longer bound by the rules and regulations of your parents. You make the rules and regulations for your life. If your parents object to the ‘new’ you that’s too bad — it’s not your problem.

If you find yourself dating men or women with lots of money, you’re still in the child and co-dependency role. This isn’t healthy on many levels. Instead of being dependent on another person be dependent on you and only you. What happens if your boyfriend/girlfriend/life partner leaves you? What will you do? Would you find another source of income to replace them with? How is this beneficial to you? It will behoove you to examine ‘why’ you feel you can’t or don’t want to make a living. Perhaps you lack confidence. Maybe you don’t know what to do. Whatever the reason, figure it out today before it’s too late.

Who you are in your relationships matters. If you’re experiencing any drama or pain in your relationships, it could be due to the fact that you’re not being your authentic, adult self. You may not even be aware of this. Take a moment and examine all of your relationships closely. Ask yourself, “Who am I in this relationship?” Write down your answers in a journal or notebook. You may be surprised by the answer you receive. Don’t be too hard on yourself. Remember, you can’t change what you don’t acknowledge.

Rebecca