Want a Free Therapy Session? Watch Finding Sarah on OWN

PASADENA, CA - JANUARY 06:  A general view of ...

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I’ve always had a fascination with the British Monarchy. Who knows? Maybe I had many past lives in Britain. I watched the premiere episode of Finding Sarah on June 12 on OWN and couldn’t help but feel compassion for the Duchess of York. Sometimes you think you have problems but then someone else has it much worse than you. Sometimes you think it must be ‘you’ then you find out someone else experienced the same thing as you. It can be comforting to know you’re not alone.

I empathized and sympathized with the Duchess of York on many levels. When she told Dr. Phil how her mother died (I was shocked) he said to her, “You sounded like you were ordering lunch.” How do you want her to feel? I thought. It sounded to me her mother wouldn’t have won Mother of the Year. She left 12-year-old Sarah for a polo player and hit her when she didn’t use the potty. She also told her, “I’ll beat the devil out of you.” This is according to Sarah’s recollection of her childhood. Her sister may have a different story.

When Sarah mentioned how her mom died it brought me back to my father’s death in 2004. I was shocked he died at 65; I thought he’d live forever. I couldn’t help but feel freedom and numb at the same time. Sorry, but that’s how I felt about my controlling, abusive, and alcoholic father. Why would I miss him? It’s not like he’d win Father of the Year. At the time of his death, I didn’t realize how my childhood shaped my adult life. After four years of getting to the ‘root of who I am (still doing this), I realize he did the best he could based on how he was raised. Do I forgive him and my paternal grandparents? I do and release them to wherever they are in the cosmos.

Sarah also spoke with financial guru Suze Orman about her financial affairs. Suze concluded that Sarah doesn’t have a problem with money. Her issue is with self-worth; it correlates to Sarah’s finances. I related to this too. I was raised to believe that you must work hard for your money. I was raised to believe you couldn’t do what you love and earn a living from it. I was raised to believe that “the rich get richer and the poor get poorer.” Thank God I woke up in 2007! I now know this belief system and thinking is backwards and doesn’t agree with me. I’m forging ahead in my life to the beat of my own drum. What was spoken over me as a child has been tossed out like yesterday’s garbage.

I enjoyed watching Finding Sarah; it wasn’t a wasted hour for me. There’s something about the Duchess of York. She seems child-like — a free spirit. Hopefully, she realizes how great she is and can move past her childhood and early adulthood. It is obvious Princesses Beatrice and Eugenie love their mother very much and will defend her to the end. Let’s face it, if Sarah Ferguson, Duchess of York, was a bad mother as the press makes her out to be, do you think her daughters would stand by her side? I don’t think so.

If you’re still holding onto your childhood, find some way to let it go. It’s not worth it to keep reliving your childhood in your head. It’s not worth it to keep playing an ‘old’ recording of negative thoughts and words that were spoken over or about you. If you continue to do this, you’ll stay stuck in life. Before you know it, life will have passed you by. Learn to forgive others, especially your parents. They did the best they could and didn’t know any better because no one showed them a better way to be parents. Perhaps they didn’t realize the impact of their words. Let it go and get on with your life.


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Kim Kardashian: The Pot Calling the Kettle Black

I read a story about 90 teens from a high school in Memphis, Tennessee who are pregnant or gave birth this year. Kim Kardashian read the same article and was horrified. She believes the phenomenon of MTV shows like Teen Mom and 16 and Pregnant aren’t setting a good example for young women. I laughed when I heard this and had to ask, “Is this the pot calling the kettle black?” I’m sure the millions of parents whose young daughters watch Keeping Up with the Kardashians and Kourtney and Kim Take New York feel the same way. While Ms. Kardashian is entitled to her opinion, she may want to think before she passes judgment.

Ms. Kardashian was married at the age of 19 and made a sex tape. Of course, the sex tape ended up in the wrong hands and a lawsuit unfolded. How is this setting an example for young women? She made a sex tape that’s supposed to be private but it ended up in the hands of people who stood to make millions off of it. Obviously, it’s a decision she regrets. She admitted she was young and didn’t know any better. This is like the teens who end up on Teen Mom and 16 & Pregnant — they probably didn’t know any better.

Kim Kardashian has new reality show with her slightly older sister Kourtney. How is partying New York and hooking up with guys setting a good example for young women? What message does this send to them? If you’re single and ready to mingle, go ahead without knowing anything about the person. I personally don’t believe ‘casual sex’ is a good thing because it can lead to heartache, and yes, an unwanted pregnancy. Most women say they’re open to having casual flings but deep down inside they want a committed relationship.

Everyone has a right to their opinion, even celebrities. Before they give it, they may want to think about the words coming out of their mouths. They may want to think about when they were teens or in their 20s and how they lived their life. No one is perfect. When you don’t come from the same economic background as people, it may be difficult to relate to them, unless, of course, you put yourself in their shoes.