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Are Your Emotions Holding You Hostage?

August 10, 2011 by

Question: I’ve noticed that my emotions have been out-of-whack lately. What can I do to get control over them? Sometimes, I think they’re holding me hostage!

Answer: Your emotions act like a GPS (global positioning system) because they tell you where you are in your life. Are you angry? Are you sad? Are you frustrated? Are you fed up with life in general? You get the idea. Use your ’emotional GPS’ to help you ‘sort’ through your emotions. Please don’t ‘stuff’ your emotions because they’ll resurface; you’ll have to deal with them eventually.

When you push against unwanted or uncomfortable emotions, you’re resistance to them will create more of the same. Instead of getting upset that you’re upset, take a deep breath and ‘feel’ your emotions. If you’re angry, feel it. This is healthier than ignoring your anger. Once you ‘feel’ the anger, you can process the emotion. Ask yourself the following questions:

  • Why am I angry?
  • What or who angered me?
  • What inside of me becomes angry when I communicate with or think of (fill in the blank)?
  • How can my anger be positive?

Once you go through this process, you’ll have a better understanding of where your anger is coming from. It usually has nothing to do with a person or situation. There’s something inside of you that wants to be acknowledged and healed.

Be grateful for ALL of your emotions because they have great lesson to teach you. Of course, when you’re ticked off, you probably won’t believe this. However, your emotions will help you to heal and move forward with your life if you feel them. Please don’t be afraid that feeling your emotions will create negativity in your life. The opposite is true. Once you recognize and process your emotions, you’ll be set free. Positive vibrations will come into your life because you made room for them. It’s something to look forward to.

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How to Get a Grip on Control

August 6, 2011 by

Do you feel the ‘need’ to control everything and everyone in your life? Do you have anxiety if you’re not in control? If you control everything in your life, you’re not really living. In fact, you’re probably exhausted. There are many reasons why you believe you must be in control. Perhaps, you were mentally, emotionally, or physically abused and feel safe by being in control. Maybe you took control of a ‘bad’ situation when you were a child to protect younger siblings. Whatever the reason, it’s time to ease up on control; otherwise, you’ll put yourself into an early grave.

How to Get a Grip on Control

1. Get help. Seek counseling and or life coaching. Speaking to someone about your control issues is the first step to finding a solution for it. There’s nothing shameful about therapy. You’ll be able to process emotions you’ve probably kept bottled up for years.

2. Allow people to be who they are. Unfortunately, you can’t ‘force’ people to something they’re not. If you do, they’ll resent you. Forcing others to be what you expect or want them to be (especially kids) will drive them away from you.

3. No one is perfect. Trying to be perfect and controlling others so they can be perfect isn’t healthy. Plus, it sounds like a full-time job. You don’t want that, do you?

4. Give yourself permission to let go. There’s a saying, “Let go, and let God.” You have the right to be happy. If you stop controlling everyone and everything in your life, you’ll be free. When’s the last time you had some fun? Let go once in a while and don’t worry so much.

5. Journal. This is a good way to find out ‘why’ you feel the need to be in control. When did your controlling behavior start? Why the need to keep up a facade that everything is fine? What don’t you want people to see? Believe it or not, we all have flaws. It’s alright.

You may think having control is productive but it’s not — it’s a paradox. Being controlling won’t provide you with happiness, safety, and security. It causes unhappiness, stress, tension, anxiety, unnecessary worry, and other unhealthful emotions. Find the courage within yourself to loosen and let go of your grip on control. You’ll feel lighter and as if a ‘weight’ has been lifted off of you.

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A Generous Heart Can Become Resentful

August 4, 2011 by
Broken Heart symbol

Image via Wikipedia

Fellow Students of Life,

Here’s the July 27, 2011 Life Path 5 reading from Horoscope.com:

If you find yourself feeling resentful on this 9-Day it’s time to take some action. You often have a generous and giving heart. However, some of the greater rewards of giving to others don’t come immediately. Often the effects of what you do for other people remain obscure for a long time, if they become apparent to you at all. This is where resentment can build. Trust that what you do really is worthwhile, even if you can’t see it. And do something to reward yourself regularly.

This reading was specifically for the Life Path 5; however, you too may feel resentful when you give and give and don’t receive in return. Your rewards may not be immediate; perhaps they won’t come at all. The key is to give because you want to give. Be selective; be discerning. You don’t always have to give of your time and money. You have the right to say “No” at anytime.

To avoid becoming resentful, do something for yourself such as getting a massage, Reiki treatment, or whatever it is you want. Realize how you’re contributing to the greater good when you choose to give of your time and money. Please don’t stop giving because you’re not receiving something immediately in return. Give for the sake of giving not to get something in return. If you do this, you won’t feel resentful.

Rebecca

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How to Pull the Weeds from Your Life

July 26, 2011 by
Public Flower Garden in downtown Seattle

Image by FallenPegasus via Flickr

Fellow Students of Life,

Your life is like a garden and needs to be ‘weeded’ now and again. If a gardener didn’t clear out the debris and weeds from the flower or vegetable garden, nothing would grow and flourish. Your life works the same way. Allowing weeds to grow will literally ‘choke the life’ out of you. It’s time to pull the weeds (at the root) from your life so you can flourish and prosper.

When you begin to pull the weeds from your life, you may feel sad or disconnected. Acknowledge your feelings and process them. Please don’t stuff feelings down because they’ll only resurface. You may as well face and deal with them now rather than later. Journal or express your feelings to a trusted confidant. Get a massage or Reiki treatment to help you clear away old, sticky energy. Think to yourself this too shall pass and know … All is well.

How to Pull the Weeds from Your Life

1. Uproot old thoughts and beliefs. Ask yourself the following questions:

  • Why do I believe what I believe?
  • Where did my beliefs come from?
  • How do my beliefs serve me?
  • Why am I hanging onto these old beliefs?
  • How have my thoughts shaped my life?

Once you’ve figured out “why” you believe and think what you do, let your ‘old’ beliefs and thoughts go. Replace them with new beliefs and thoughts that resonate with you. Visit Heal Your Life to learn more.

2. Move on from stale relationships. Have the courage to say goodbye (if necessary) to work, romantic, friendships, family, and other relationships which are no longer for your highest good. You could always revisit these relationships at a later date. People do change.

3. Let go of activities that drain you. If you don’t enjoy certain activities or are involved in too many, let some of them go. You’ll feel lighter.

4. Don’t say “Yes” when you want to say “No.” This is a tough one for most people but it can be done. Be true to yourself and stop saying “Yes” out of fear, duty, or obligation. Say “Yes” only if you truly want to.

5. Give away clothing and other items. Remember, “When in doubt, toss it out.” If you haven’t worn a shirt in over a year, you probably won’t wear it again. Donate items to Goodwill and other charitable organizations. You could always sell items on eBay or have a garage sale.

6. Move to another city or state to revitalize your life force. Family and friends may think you’re crazy, but they’re not the one moving. Thank them for sharing their thoughts, pack your bags, and get on the road. Remember: you take yourself with you when you move.

Quiet your fears through daily meditation. You’ve probably heard this 100 times but it begs repeating. Sitting quietly, observing your breath is a fantastic way to help you pull the weeds from your life. You’ll have clarity before you begin weeding.

7. Forgive yourself and others and move forward with your life. Forgiveness will set you free. It’s time to ‘uproot’ the past and forget about “who did what to whom” and let it go. These ‘weeds’ choke your life the most. Let it all go and release the heaviness you’ve been carrying.

8. Pull the gossip. It’s easy to get caught up in family or work drama. Heck, TV in the U.S. is filled with ‘gossipy’ TV shows that tell us what’s going on in the lives of celebrities and others. Gossip is hurtful and more importantly, the information is usually false. If you were sucked in by gossip, chop that weed and uproot it straight-away. Remember, the energy you put out into the universe will come back to you. How would you feel if someone gossiped about you?

9. Pull the self-hate. Unfortunately, many people don’t like, let alone love themselves. It’s time to pull the self-loathing from your life. No one is perfect; everyone is doing the best they can. When you criticize yourself it’s not good for you. Acknowledge what you’d like to change and change it. Please don’t beat yourself up because EVERYONE makes mistakes.

10. Pull whatever needs to be pulled in your life. Examine your life and uproot anything that’s choking it. Lovingly release the weeds from your life and plant new seeds. Fertilize new ‘life’ seeds through affirmations, walks in nature, therapy, meditation, yoga, uplifting music, books, etc. Your life will begin to sprout ‘new shoots’ in no time!

Rebecca

What ‘weeds’ need to be pulled from your life? Share?

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