Who Else Isn’t Embracing Their Entire Self?

Embrace

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If you’re like me, you’ve probably read many books, blog posts, and articles about accepting your ‘whole’ self. We’re told to embrace the ‘totality’ of our being — to be our authentic self. How many of us actually accept our ‘whole’ self? Unfortunately, not many of us do. Even though we say, “I love and accept myself or I love and accept myself just the way I am,” we still deny or are afraid to be who we truly are. I say the time has come to REALLY love you — love ALL the parts of you.

Why don’t we accept ourselves?

I’ll use myself as an example. Somehow, I got it into my head that I can’t be spiritual and enjoy interests such as Rock, Classic Rock, R&B, Metal, Alternative Rock, Indie Rock, Pop, Dance, Electronic, Techno, Classical, Punk, and some Rap music. Somehow, I started to believe that I couldn’t listen to the music I liked and gravitated towards. What happened? To quote Pink Floyd, “I had a momentary lapse of reason.”

No one has the right to tell us what we can and cannot like. And, who says that listening to all types of music isn’t a ‘spiritual’ experience? Who’s the judge? Why do we take to heart what everyone on the planet says? It doesn’t mean everything we read or listen to is the ‘be all, end all’ for us. Take what you like and leave the rest.

I also have a confession to make; I used to have somewhat of an ‘edge’ to me. I would speak my mind and voice my opinions without any problem. However, since I began my ‘spiritual/transformational’ journey four years ago, I started to lose my edge. I loved my “Rock N’ Roll Edginess” but started to deny that part of me because I thought it wasn’t acceptable because I was immersing myself in spiritual/metaphysical topics. I began to believe and feel I couldn’t speak my mind or share my opinions for ‘fear’ of backlash from people. And there it is. Fear, it’s the four-letter word that gets in our way.

I like that I have a bit of an edge, but it doesn’t totally define who I am. Why should I deny it? What’s so bad about having a bit of an edge? Heck, it works for Jillian Michaels and Suze Orman. These women get in peoples’ faces about losing weight and feeling great and getting a handle on finances, respectively speaking. They’re not ‘wishy-washy’ when they’re helping others. They get down to the ‘nitty-gritty’ or heart-of-the-matter to help people change their lives. They’re honest and raw, and I respect and relate to this. They don’t ease up until the people they’re helping take responsibility for their lives and admit the ‘truth’ to themselves. They get down to business and come up with a plan of action for people to follow.

BTW: If the Duchess of York can work with Suze Orman, anyone can!

The solution

It’s time to stop denying who are. If you have a bit of an edge to you, embrace it instead of denying it. If you enjoy listening to music from the 1940s, embrace it and crank up the music. If you enjoy art and want to begin painting, go shopping for art supplies. If the people in your life don’t like it, it’s not your problem. The only person you really have to please is yourself. If you don’t you’ll become bitter and resentful; this is no way to live your life. Peel back the layers and get to know who you are. A little self-examination is good for the soul. Start embracing your ‘entire’ self and you’ll feel better tomorrow.

Rebecca

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Venting Can Be Good for the Soul

The Vent!

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Over the weekend, I discovered the website Vent!Vent! – Voice Your Complaint. I poked around the website and discovered that I’m not alone. Others have a need to ‘vent’ their complaints, opinions, and concerns. Ironically, the most vents are about various relationships from family to friends; from work to spouses; and everything in between. The bottom line is there’s a lot of venting going on!

Lately, I’ve been feeling the need to vent. Believe it or not, it’s good for the soul. You see, there’s a lot of things I’ve been holding inside of me that are coming up to the surface. Have you ever felt like this? I’ve done the ‘letter exercise’ where you write a letter to the person(s) who’ve caused you grief but it doesn’t help. I journal almost every day but that’s not really helping me either. I can feel and know I need to voice my thoughts and feelings. Keeping it bottled up inside isn’t working. Pretending that everything is ‘a-okay’ isn’t working either. It’s time for me to let it out!

Shout, shout, let it all out, these are the things I can do without
Come on, I’m talking to you, come on
Shout, shout, let it all out, these are the things I can do without
Tears for Fears

How do you feel when you keep your feelings and thoughts to yourself? How healthy is it? It’s not healthy. In fact, dis-ease could settle into your body. Here are some exercises you can do to release anything that’s irking you or has irked you for a long time:

  • Scream at the top of your lungs.
  • Scream at the top of a mountain.
  • Ask a close confidant if you can vent. Make sure you reciprocate.
  • Hold a Venting Party (in home or virtual) where you and your friends take one minute to five minutes to vent. Have a ‘potluck’ dinner, hire a manicurist/pedicurist, masseuse, Reiki practitioner, etc. Make it a girls night out!

Get everything out of your system; don’t hold back. You’ll feel better once your give voice to your thoughts and feelings. And, sometimes you need to set the record straight. Instead of stewing about your feelings, speak to the person who caused you grief. Make sure you use “I” statements and voice how you feel. For example, “I felt bad after you made fun of my hair color.” Beginning with a “you” statement will put the person on the defensive. For example, “You made me feel bad when you made fun of my new hair color.” Do you feel and see the difference? The person may or may not understand their actions. Be aware — you may not receive an apology. However, at least the person knows how you feel, and you’ll be able to move on.

What do you need to vent? Share.

Rebecca

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7 Affirmations to Say While Exercising

Inhale Positivity

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I went for a walk on the 4th of July; it was hot and sunny. As I was walking, I started thinking about affirmations and how I could say them to myself as I walked. After all, they’re a great tool to use to shift your life. I usually walk for more than 15 minutes every day since I can’t hike my beloved South Mountain in Arizona; I moved back to the Midwest in 2010. I think my moving has something with my weight gain. I now affirm every day that I make my home in the Southwestern/Western part of the U.S.

Somehow, I gained 40 lbs. in a short amount of time and have been trying to lose it since 2010. It’s as if the weight crept onto my body without me even noticing. I still don’t understand how it happened. It’s not as if I’m a ‘fast food’ junkie’ or chocoholic. I could understand weight gain if I ate massive amounts of food and didn’t work out. But, I eat pretty clean (vegetarian) and like to work out. Anyway, I began to think about the baggage I was carrying around. I really want to release the baggage because I feel uncomfortable with the extra weight on my body. Plus, I have clothes I’d like to wear.

7 Affirmations to Say While Exercising

1. With every step I take, I release the baggage of my past and present.
2. With every step I take, I release the resistance in my life.
3. I inhale positivity and exhale negativity from my body, mind, and soul.
4. With every step I take, I release weight from my body, mind, and soul.
5. With every step I take, I tone my body, mind, and soul.
6. With every step I take, I strengthen and tone my body, mind, and soul.
7. With every breathe I take, I breathe in the sweetness of life.

Rebecca

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Guilt Can Crush Your Body, Mind and Soul

Guilty

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I attended Catholic School from Kindergarten through the eighth grade and it wasn’t all that great. Needless to say, like most former Catholic School kids, I’m no longer a practicing Catholic. The amount of guilt put upon us was extraordinary. Of course, it didn’t wreak havoc on my life until I reached adulthood. I feel guilty if I eat my favorite foods. I feel guilty if I don’t wallow with family members who can’t take responsibility for their lives. I feel guilty for not wallowing with people who get invested in world events. I feel guilty for having more of a connection to my two cats than I do certain people. I feel guilty for wanting to look and feel good. I feel guilty if I don’t feel the pain’ of others. I feel guilty for wanting a better life than my parents and grandparents. I feel guilty for wanting to live a footloose and fancy free lifestyle that’s suits me but others may frown upon. I feel guilty for being on a spiritual path that may not resonate with others, especially family members. I feel guilty for not wanting to get involved in the lives of family members. My philosophy is, “It’s your life do what you want.” I feel guilty for not wanting to spend time with certain people because their energy and constant complaining grates my nerves. I feel guilty for not wanting to live in the Midwest near my family. I feel guilty for wanting to be surrounded by people who I relate to — people who are kindred spirits (not necessarily family). Guilty, guilty, guilty races through my mind; I picture a judge pounding his gavel and sentencing me to a life of guilt!

I believe going to Catholic School coupled with my dysfunctional upbringing really did a number on me. First, growing up within an alcoholic family wasn’t fun. My father’s parents did a number on him, and he ended up passing certain beliefs and thoughts onto to me and my sister. Now, I have to undo all the bullshit that was spoken over me. For example, my father was held responsible for the actions of his brothers. Of course, he passed this illogical thinking onto my sister who felt major responsibility for me. If I did something wrong, she got in trouble for it. This never made sense to me. A few years before my father died, he told me I would be responsible for the family. What are we, the Corleone family? We’re not in the mafia! Second, I never felt connected to my family. That’s just the way it is. I always believed that I was adopted or dropped from the heavens into my family. Third, I’m highly independent. I like to do my own thing, on my own terms. I prefer to come and go as I please. I prefer to pay my own bills. I also cherish my space and enjoy being quiet, especially in the morning. Rules are meant to be examined and perhaps rewritten. Sometimes they don’t serve the greater good.

I don’t agree with wallowing in self-pity and playing the “Poor Me” song over and over again. All of us make choices in our lives. As an adult, I know I can be, do, and have anything in life. However, that pesky 5-letter word (guilt) is still wreaking havoc on my life.

How to let go of guilt

1. Speak your truth. This may be uncomfortable at first, but once you tell people what you think of them (gently) and start saying “No” and mean it, you’ll feel better.

2. Stay present. The past is over with, and the future hasn’t been written yet. Your future will be created based on your feelings and thoughts in the present. To stay in the present, say out loud what you see in front of you. Hearing your voice and words will bring you back to the present.

3. Stop the blame game. Your parents and others did the best they could. Learn from their mistakes. Be grateful for the contrast because it will help you figure out what you want.

4. Notice your thoughts and feelings. Don’t stuff your feelings or brush them off. Sit with them for a while. You’ll be able to move forward once you process them.

5. Let go of judgment. This can be tough. Judging another means you judge yourself.

6. Be of service. Volunteer at your favorite charity or begin your own. Give back and help others but makes sure you’re doing it because you want to not because you want to get something in return.

7. Keep your word. If you say you’re going to be somewhere at 5 pm, be on time. If you’ll be late, make a phone call or send a text message.

8. Listen to your intuition. This can be tricky you have constant mental chatter in your head. Get quiet and listen to the whispers on the wind; listen to your body and how you feel. Trust your instinct.

9. Forgive. Forgive yourself and others because it will set you free. Remember, forgiveness doesn’t mean, “What you did to me was all right and we’re totally cool.” It simply releases you from the person or situation. You’ll like a burden has been lifted off of you.

I watched Oprah’s last show and she said the following, “What is all life? What is every flower, every rock, every tree, every human being? Energy. And you’re responsible for the energy you create for yourself, and you’re responsible for the energy that you bring to others. Don’t wait for somebody else to save you, to complete you, to fix you.” I would add, “You are responsible for your own happiness.” I wish my family would read this. I’m not responsible for them.

I know I have the power to release me from the Guilt Prison but it’s a push pull. I feel bad that I have no desire to communicate with certain family members, but I can’t help how I feel. I visualize them with the sun above their heads and gold coins falling around because this symbolizes happiness and prosperity to me. I ask God and the angels to help them. I can’t force them to change; it’s not my job. I send them lots of love, but I won’t subject myself to their shenanigans. My connection with God, source energy, universal intelligence, etc. and feeling good is priority number one!

Rebecca

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