All right, so I am having a “moment.” I keep thinking about MONEY! Back in my accounting days, I was miserable at my job for many reasons, but I never worried about paying my rent (first apartment), mortgage (bought a townhouse), or any of my other monthly expenses. My luxuries are few and far between, and I had the “funds” to pay for them as well. I now know my “accounting days” could have been less stressful if I had a better “outlook,” but accounting was not my passion. However, I made a decent salary and never “freaked out” that I would not be able to pay my monthly expenses. My necessities were taken care of and I did not constantly think about paying for them.
Back in September 2007, I chose to follow my passion and I am wondering if it is worth it. I know that sounds hypocritical because if you read my other blogs, I “jumped” onto the “change your thoughts, change your life” band wagon. In addition, I have been reading and listening to others who come from the “metaphysical” perspective.
When I look at the my bank accounts I see the “present” reality. If you know anything about “metaphysical” thinking, you are supposed to “visualize” and “feel” as if your desires have manifested right now. I try doing that everyday, but my bank accounts are the same. And my thoughts linger on “worry” and “fear.”
Each time I discover a new “technique,” I try it. Now I am not sure what to do. My mom has told me that I always have a home in OH, and I am totally grateful for that. I love being in Arizona, and I am trying to make things work. But now I am not so sure. Maybe I will listen to Hay House Radio again. Perhaps something will resonate and sink deeper into my consciousness.
Questioning and wondering,
~ Rebecca
p.s.
As an aside, I am very fortunate to have a caring family. I went home for Easter, and I made out like a “bandit!” I received an abundance of gifts! Yes, this does include gifts of money. I am so, so grateful. I plan to reciprocate to the people in my life who have been generous and kind to me. Paying it forward!