How to Dissolve Problems

I received HayHouse’s newsletter which included an excerpt from Louise L. Hay and Cheryl Richardson’s new book You Can Create an Exceptional Life. Here’s a snippet from the excerpt:

“When a problem has been solved, we need to remember that it’s gone,” Louise instructs. “It has passed. We don’t want to dip into the past to be miserable in the present moment. And we don’t want to become complainers. People who complain a lot are a pain in the ass for everyone around them. Not only that, but they are doing great damage to their own world. Before we verbalize a complaint, we tend to go over it in our mind—several times, dozens of times, several dozen times, dozens and dozens of times. Depending on what our habit is.”

My favorite line from the above excerpt is “People who complain a lot are a pain in the ass for everyone around them.” I chuckled when I read this. Louise/Cheryl wrote what I think but haven’t had the courage to say. I think about how I used to complain; how my former co-workers used to complain. It makes me cringe! I listen to the people around me (family) complain and think, “Thank God I woke up in 2007. Is that how I sounded? Yikes!” I do my best not to sweat the small stuff anymore. For some reason, I used to focus my attention on the littlest or stupidest things. Live and learn.

How to dissolve problems

1. Stop and listen to how much you complain and or criticize you and the people in your life.

2. Notice how many times the people in your life complain.

3. Acknowledge your problems and sit with them for a while. What’s the real story behind your problems? Are they self-inflicted?

4. Journal your problems and review them. What can you do to move past them? Are they worth giving attention to? What are you afraid of if you let your problems go?

5. Meditate on your problems and let them go. If you do this, you make room for change and abundance will flow to you.

What is Woundology?

Question: I just discovered Caroline Myss and she used the term ‘woundology’ in her presentation “Why People Don’t Heal?” What does woundology mean? How can you permanently heal your wounds? I’d like to heal my wounds once and for all. I journal, meditate, listen to podcasts, burn incense and sage, etc. and nothing seems to work. Help!

Answer: Woundology means you use your wounds — you cling to your wounds. According to Caroline Myss, “Woundology is a very expensive habit to keep a wound alive. The energy comes out of your system, your cell system.” According to the Halexandria Foundation, “Woundology is also a form of scapegoatology which means outside events and others are blamed for what a wounded person experiences.” We have the power to heal from our wounds; however, to do so, means we must give up ‘being right’ for being happy.

When you carry your problems with you everywhere you go, you’re practicing the art of woundology. For example, have you ever met someone who’s told you their life story in a matter of minutes? They were practicing woundology. However, the person believes they’re sharing their life’s story. They can’t see what they’re truly doing. Let’s face it; we’ve all done this at one point or have done this. I have and now realize the error of my way. Now, wonder I’ve been feeling stuck in a funk for the past year (or more).

FYI: Some experts believe woundology is a form of addiction. Instead of being addicted to drugs and alcohol, gambling, smoking, being right, attention, people pleasing, being a rescuer or victim, food, sex, the internet, movies and television, working out, shopping, relationships, traveling, etc. people are addicted to their pain.

Recognize and heal your wounds today by getting in touch with your emotions and exploring them. The next time you’re tempted to share your life’s story with someone, ask yourself a few questions such as:

  • Why am I doing this?
  • What do I get from this?
  • What’s motivating me to share my story?

Woundology is a way to control and manipulate the people around you. It’s a way to get their attention or for them to rescue you. The truth is you can only rescue and save you. If you wait for others to do it, you’ll be waiting for a long time. Life will pass you by and you’ll be left wondering, “Where did my life go?” However, you can heal your wounds today, and tomorrow life will be easier and happier.

How to Focus on Your Own Life

Iguassu Falls

Image by Luc V. de Zeeuw via Flickr

If you’re kind, compassionate, and empathetic, you probably want to help family, friends, and strangers. Your may have good intentions but it could backfire on you. It’s best to focus on you and your life. Allow others to walk their path at their own pace. If you’re asked for advice, give it but don’t force another to take it. Like my grandfather used to say, “You can lead a horse to water but you can’t force it to drink.” Everyone has free will; they can beat to their own drum. Their beat may not be the same as yours — it’s alright. Follow your beat or tune, and you’ll live a happy, peaceful life.

How to focus on your life

1. Don’t stick your nose where it doesn’t belong. If someone didn’t ask for your advice, don’t give it.

2. Give advice but don’t force another to take it. If the same person keeps asking you for advice, you may want to gently refrain from giving them advice.

3. Tell people what you want them to know. Remember, some people may not support your hopes and dreams. They may wear and show a kind mask to the world; however, they could be witchy behind the scenes. Be discerning and discriminating when revealing information about your life. Only tell close confidants and people your trust what’s really happening in your life.

4. Don’t feel obligated to ‘hang out’ with those who may not resonate with you.

You cannot get sick enough to help sick people get well. ~ Abraham-Hicks

5. Follow the beat of your life and allow others to do the same.

6. Don’t get involved in unnecessary drama. If someone tries to suck you into an argument or conversation that has nothing to do with you, don’t get involved. You could say, “I hear you, but I can’t and won’t participate in the drama. It has nothing to do with me. ”

7. Drift and or walk away. Sometimes you need to let go of unhealthy relationships. They’ve served their purpose — loving let them go.

Rebecca

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How to Reduce and Cut Your Exposure to Toxic People

Scissors

Image by semuthutan via Flickr

Question: I feel some people are toxic to me. The kicker is the only communication (if any) I have with them is through Facebook. These people really don’t have anything to do with me; we don’t have anything in common except being related. I would like to reduce my exposure to them. Help!

Answer: The question to ask is, “Does this honor me? How does this honor me?Does this relationship honor me? It may be time to reduce your exposure to toxic people.

How to reduce your exposure to toxic people

1. If you’re having issues with toxic people, be honest about the relationships you have with them. It may be in your best interest to reduce the amount of time you spend with them. Of course, you may have to cut them out of your life completely. The choice is yours.

2. Clear your chakras through meditation. Your third chakra is probably being sucked dry by toxic people. Call on Archangel Michael and ask him to cut your chords and clear your chakras.

3. Just say No. Find the courage to honor you and say “No” to people. If they get upset with you that’s their problem; they’ll have to work it out. It has nothing to do with you — it has to do with them. Move forward with your life and don’t look back.

Affirmations from Sandra Anne Taylor

  • I have so much to be grateful for. Every day, I notice these things more and more. I look around and am satisfied.
  • I’m letting go of the negative interpretations of my life. I find many wonderful things to appreciate each day.
  • I often take time for single moments of appreciation. I smile and name what I enjoy. I say “Thank You” to the universe.
  • I appreciate myself and my life more and more each day. I deserve my OWN gratitude.

You can reduce your exposure to toxic people no matter who they are including family. This can be scary but it will behoove you to limit the time you communicate and spend with these people. Send them lots of love and wish them well. See them happy and healthy. However, it’s up to them if they’re open to receiving your loving energy. They may not be open to it or want to receive. Be okay with this. Remember, it’s not your job to ‘fix’ people.

Rebecca

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