How to Dissolve Problems

I received HayHouse’s newsletter which included an excerpt from Louise L. Hay and Cheryl Richardson’s new book You Can Create an Exceptional Life. Here’s a snippet from the excerpt:

“When a problem has been solved, we need to remember that it’s gone,” Louise instructs. “It has passed. We don’t want to dip into the past to be miserable in the present moment. And we don’t want to become complainers. People who complain a lot are a pain in the ass for everyone around them. Not only that, but they are doing great damage to their own world. Before we verbalize a complaint, we tend to go over it in our mind—several times, dozens of times, several dozen times, dozens and dozens of times. Depending on what our habit is.”

My favorite line from the above excerpt is “People who complain a lot are a pain in the ass for everyone around them.” I chuckled when I read this. Louise/Cheryl wrote what I think but haven’t had the courage to say. I think about how I used to complain; how my former co-workers used to complain. It makes me cringe! I listen to the people around me (family) complain and think, “Thank God I woke up in 2007. Is that how I sounded? Yikes!” I do my best not to sweat the small stuff anymore. For some reason, I used to focus my attention on the littlest or stupidest things. Live and learn.

How to dissolve problems

1. Stop and listen to how much you complain and or criticize you and the people in your life.

2. Notice how many times the people in your life complain.

3. Acknowledge your problems and sit with them for a while. What’s the real story behind your problems? Are they self-inflicted?

4. Journal your problems and review them. What can you do to move past them? Are they worth giving attention to? What are you afraid of if you let your problems go?

5. Meditate on your problems and let them go. If you do this, you make room for change and abundance will flow to you.

What is Woundology?

Question: I just discovered Caroline Myss and she used the term ‘woundology’ in her presentation “Why People Don’t Heal?” What does woundology mean? How can you permanently heal your wounds? I’d like to heal my wounds once and for all. I journal, meditate, listen to podcasts, burn incense and sage, etc. and nothing seems to work. Help!

Answer: Woundology means you use your wounds — you cling to your wounds. According to Caroline Myss, “Woundology is a very expensive habit to keep a wound alive. The energy comes out of your system, your cell system.” According to the Halexandria Foundation, “Woundology is also a form of scapegoatology which means outside events and others are blamed for what a wounded person experiences.” We have the power to heal from our wounds; however, to do so, means we must give up ‘being right’ for being happy.

When you carry your problems with you everywhere you go, you’re practicing the art of woundology. For example, have you ever met someone who’s told you their life story in a matter of minutes? They were practicing woundology. However, the person believes they’re sharing their life’s story. They can’t see what they’re truly doing. Let’s face it; we’ve all done this at one point or have done this. I have and now realize the error of my way. Now, wonder I’ve been feeling stuck in a funk for the past year (or more).

FYI: Some experts believe woundology is a form of addiction. Instead of being addicted to drugs and alcohol, gambling, smoking, being right, attention, people pleasing, being a rescuer or victim, food, sex, the internet, movies and television, working out, shopping, relationships, traveling, etc. people are addicted to their pain.

Recognize and heal your wounds today by getting in touch with your emotions and exploring them. The next time you’re tempted to share your life’s story with someone, ask yourself a few questions such as:

  • Why am I doing this?
  • What do I get from this?
  • What’s motivating me to share my story?

Woundology is a way to control and manipulate the people around you. It’s a way to get their attention or for them to rescue you. The truth is you can only rescue and save you. If you wait for others to do it, you’ll be waiting for a long time. Life will pass you by and you’ll be left wondering, “Where did my life go?” However, you can heal your wounds today, and tomorrow life will be easier and happier.

What’s the Number One Relationship in Your Life?

What’s the number one relationship in your life? Chances are you said one of the following:

  • Spouse
  • Life  partner
  • Children
  • Career
  • Family
  • Religion
  • Friends
  • Significant other
  • Business connections

If you said the following, “The number one relationship is with me,” you have a good understanding of how important this is. If you don’t have a good relationship with you, how will you have one with another? You won’t be able to. You’ll keep repeating self-sabotaging behaviors and patterns and drive yourself nuts!

Before you jump into a relationship, cultivate a relationship with you. Learn to set healthy boundaries; enforce them. Learn to love yourself fully and you’ll be able to love others fully. Everyone has flaws — no one is perfect. If you can acknowledge and accept this, you’ll be fine.