How to Connect with the Right People

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I was listening to Joel Osteen‘s podcast #470 Connecting with the Right People and it resonated with me. Here are a few excerpts from the podcast:

Everyone cannot go where God is taking you. Get away from the wrong people and surround yourself with people that appreciate your uniqueness. Connect with people who understand your destiny, not people who are always pushing you down, telling you what you can’t become. Life is too short to drag people along. If you will get the wrong people out of your life, God (or whatever term you use) will bring the right people into your life.

Some of you, the only thing that’s holding you back is your inner circle. The people that are closest to you, i.e., family, friends, neighbors, co-workers, etc. are with you, but they’re not for you. You spend too much time trying to convince them to get on board; you spend too much time persuading them that you’re okay. You spend too much time trying to get people to understand your destiny.

How many of you can relate to the excerpts above? If you’re nodding your head or saying, “Yep, that’s me,” it’s time to change your inner circle. It may not be easy at first but once you get the wrong people out of your life, new people can finally come into your life and help you get to where you’re supposed to be. Stop spending time trying to convince people of your plans — you’re wasting precious time and oxygen. You don’t need their approval or permission. The only approval and permission you need is yours!

Some people you have to love from a distance. ~ Joel Osteen

True friends won’t question who you are — they’ll support you. True friends will connect you with people who can assist you. Surround yourself with people who believe in you; however, you must believe in you first. Your time is too valuable to spend it with people who don’t support your 100 percent. It’s about the quality of people not the quantity.

It’s scary to drift away from people, especially if you’ve known them for 10 or more years. However, if you have a ‘gut instinct’ that tells you it’s time to drift, go ahead and drift away. You need people who’ll have faith in you not people who’ll give you a laundry list of ‘why’ you can’t do something. Surround yourself with ‘wise people’ and seek council when you need it. It’s important to have people close to you who understand your destiny — who have faith. Weed out people who constantly pull you down. It’s alright to show them door!

Rebecca

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How to Avoid the Stress of Facebook

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If you’re on Facebook, you may or may not have encountered critics and instigators. These are people who lurk within the shadows, watching your every move on Facebook. They wait until you speak your mind or post a link they don’t like and Bam! They pounce on you as if you were their prey. The best way to get rid of social media stress is to ignore critics and instigators on Facebook. Don’t engage in the conversation and they’ll eventually go away.

Tip: Be careful who ‘friend’ on Facebook. Some people mask or hide their true nature. Be discerning with all of your relationships.

Healthy debates and engagements with people are acceptable. However, when the conversation gets heated and the ‘claws’ come out isn’t productive. Most people who criticize others can’t see another person’s POV and have no desire to. They expect everyone to ‘roll’ over and concede. Let’s face it; someone like this isn’t someone you want to be around. The tension isn’t worth it.

How to Avoid the Stress of Facebook

1. Be careful who you friend.

2. Don’t engage in heated discussions because it will cause you more stress.

3. Hone your intuition and really ‘tune-in’ to people. See the masks they wear (everyone wears one at one point or another) and ask yourself, “Is this ‘friend’ for my highest good or better?” Trust your instincts.

4. Stop spending a lot of time on Facebook. Facebook can be used for constructive purposes like meeting with like-minded people within groups or conversing with other ‘fans’ on fan pages, it can be a time waster. Don’t allow a sunny day to escape you. Get outside and go to the park or hike a mountain. Life’s too short to spend in it indoors.

5. Use Facebook a tool to meet like-minded people but don’t limit your meeting people to Facebook. Attend networking and other social events where you meet people live and in-person. Also, schedule your time on Facebook. Perhaps the groups you’re in can ‘schedule’ a meeting time to have a discussion on a particular topic. This will cut down on the amount of time you spend on Facebook. You may go through ‘withdrawal’ but it will be worth it in the end.

Facebook can be a blessing or a curse — it’s up to you. Keep your Facebook personal page neat and clean and be careful who you’re friends with; ignore critics and instigators. It’s up to you to pick the battles in life you want to participate in. The way to avoid battles on Facebook is to be careful with who you ‘friend’ and cull the Facebook ‘friend’ herd now and again.

Rebecca

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How to Focus on Your Own Life

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If you’re kind, compassionate, and empathetic, you probably want to help family, friends, and strangers. Your may have good intentions but it could backfire on you. It’s best to focus on you and your life. Allow others to walk their path at their own pace. If you’re asked for advice, give it but don’t force another to take it. Like my grandfather used to say, “You can lead a horse to water but you can’t force it to drink.” Everyone has free will; they can beat to their own drum. Their beat may not be the same as yours — it’s alright. Follow your beat or tune, and you’ll live a happy, peaceful life.

How to focus on your life

1. Don’t stick your nose where it doesn’t belong. If someone didn’t ask for your advice, don’t give it.

2. Give advice but don’t force another to take it. If the same person keeps asking you for advice, you may want to gently refrain from giving them advice.

3. Tell people what you want them to know. Remember, some people may not support your hopes and dreams. They may wear and show a kind mask to the world; however, they could be witchy behind the scenes. Be discerning and discriminating when revealing information about your life. Only tell close confidants and people your trust what’s really happening in your life.

4. Don’t feel obligated to ‘hang out’ with those who may not resonate with you.

You cannot get sick enough to help sick people get well. ~ Abraham-Hicks

5. Follow the beat of your life and allow others to do the same.

6. Don’t get involved in unnecessary drama. If someone tries to suck you into an argument or conversation that has nothing to do with you, don’t get involved. You could say, “I hear you, but I can’t and won’t participate in the drama. It has nothing to do with me. ”

7. Drift and or walk away. Sometimes you need to let go of unhealthy relationships. They’ve served their purpose — loving let them go.

Rebecca

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How to Reduce and Cut Your Exposure to Toxic People

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Question: I feel some people are toxic to me. The kicker is the only communication (if any) I have with them is through Facebook. These people really don’t have anything to do with me; we don’t have anything in common except being related. I would like to reduce my exposure to them. Help!

Answer: The question to ask is, “Does this honor me? How does this honor me?Does this relationship honor me? It may be time to reduce your exposure to toxic people.

How to reduce your exposure to toxic people

1. If you’re having issues with toxic people, be honest about the relationships you have with them. It may be in your best interest to reduce the amount of time you spend with them. Of course, you may have to cut them out of your life completely. The choice is yours.

2. Clear your chakras through meditation. Your third chakra is probably being sucked dry by toxic people. Call on Archangel Michael and ask him to cut your chords and clear your chakras.

3. Just say No. Find the courage to honor you and say “No” to people. If they get upset with you that’s their problem; they’ll have to work it out. It has nothing to do with you — it has to do with them. Move forward with your life and don’t look back.

Affirmations from Sandra Anne Taylor

  • I have so much to be grateful for. Every day, I notice these things more and more. I look around and am satisfied.
  • I’m letting go of the negative interpretations of my life. I find many wonderful things to appreciate each day.
  • I often take time for single moments of appreciation. I smile and name what I enjoy. I say “Thank You” to the universe.
  • I appreciate myself and my life more and more each day. I deserve my OWN gratitude.

You can reduce your exposure to toxic people no matter who they are including family. This can be scary but it will behoove you to limit the time you communicate and spend with these people. Send them lots of love and wish them well. See them happy and healthy. However, it’s up to them if they’re open to receiving your loving energy. They may not be open to it or want to receive. Be okay with this. Remember, it’s not your job to ‘fix’ people.

Rebecca

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How Pets Can Heal You

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My Fellow Students of Life,

I love animals! I grew up with dogs, rabbits, fish, and birds. I never had cats until my adult life. I adopted my black and white cat Benny from Mixed Up Mutts who partners with PetSmart. I adopted my tabby cat CeCe from The Arizona Humane Society. They are a joy to have in my life. More importantly, they’re a good way for me to get and stay grounded. If I’m having an ‘off’ day, I’ll pet one of my cats and immediately shift my energy. The focus is off of me and my issues and onto my cats. Before you know it, my troubles melt away and they aren’t important anymore.

Animals are such agreeable friends – they ask no questions, they pass no criticisms. ~George Eliot

An animal’s eyes have the power to speak a great language. ~Martin Buber

Animals have these advantages over man: they never hear the clock strike, they die without any idea of death, they have no theologians to instruct them, their last moments are not disturbed by unwelcome and unpleasant ceremonies, their funerals cost them nothing, and no one starts lawsuits over their wills. ~Voltaire, letter to Count Schomberg, 31 August 1769

It often happens that a man is more humanely related to a cat or dog than to any human being. ~Henry David Thoreau

If you’d like to get a pet, consider adopting an animal from your local animal shelter. They usually hold special events to promote the adoption of animals from shelters — some accept donations in lieu of an adoption fee. It’s a win-win situation! All shelter animals deserve loving, forever homes. Adopt one today and watch how your new friend will add joy to your life. Adopting a pet can be a life saver in more ways than one.

Rebecca

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Boo! How to Scare Your Problems Away

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My Fellow Students of Life,

I watched Meet the Parents a few days ago because I needed to laugh. There was one scene that caught my attention. Teri Polo‘s character, Pam Burns, is a school teacher. Unbeknownst to her, Ben Stiller‘s character, Greg (Gaylord) Focker, is on his way to propose to her. Anyway, Pam was teaching her class how to scare their problems away. She had the kids close their eyes and visualize their problem. Once they had their problem in their ‘mind’s’ eye, she told to say “Boo!” to their problem — scare it away. I’ve watched Meet the Parents many time but never picked up on the significance of that scene. I too will scare my problems away by saying “Boo!”

How to scare your problems away

1. Visualize your problem in your mind’s eye and say “Boo!” to it.

2. Rise above it. Be courageous to face and scare your problems away. Look them in the eye and say, “You have no power over me, be gone!”

3. Stop focusing on your problems. For example, if you’re having issues with family drama-rama, even after you’ve said what you had to say, redirect your focus to something and or someone else. Read a book, volunteer, go to the movies, attend a festival, spend the day at the park, etc. Do something other than focus on your problem.

4. Let go and let God. You’ve probably heard this saying before but it begs repeating. After you’ve faced your problem, let it go. As Esther Hicks/Abraham said during a Teaching with Abraham, “If you want to let go of something, let it die of its own admission.” Let it go!

5. Don’t get caught up in unnecessary drama. This one is easier said than done for some to do. However, everyone has a choice. You can only control your actions and reactions to the people and situations around you. Consider thinking before you speak; before you react to an email, a Facebook status update, a ‘tweet’ on Twitter, etc. You can control your emotions and reactions. You don’t have to get ‘sucked into’ family, friends, and societal drama-rama. Think about it.

Rebecca

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How to Avoid Family Catastrophe on Facebook

Question: I’m not sure if I’m the only with this problem, but I’m finding Facebook to be a place for unnecessary drama. It’s my belief that social media can actually tear people apart instead of bring them together, especially family. I posted a status update and there was much ‘venom’ spilled over it. The people that ‘went off’ on me don’t even associate with me. I believe that if something ‘strikes a nerve within someone’ there’s something inside that person that could use healing; introspection is a good thing. The only reason I joined Facebook was to create fan pages for my websites and to converse with like-minded people. It wasn’t to connect with family members. I never felt connected to my family, even when I was a child. I always had a ‘feeling’ I belonged somewhere else and within another family. Help!

Answer: As far as I know, there isn’t a BIG BOOK that says, “Thou shall associate with family members, even though you have nothing in common or they’re toxic to you.” Sometimes, it’s in your best interest to cut ties with people. This includes family members. It’s your call. Always do what is best for you.

How to Avoid Family Catastrophe on Facebook

1. “Surround yourself with only people who are going to lift you higher.” ~Oprah Unfortunately, some of these people may not be related to you. Accept this and move on. Don’t explain yourself — don’t drag others into the drama. Your mental health and overall well being are more important.

2. Don’t accept friend requests from family members who are more than likely to be frenemies. It’s not worth it. Stay away from energy vampires.

3. Set your privacy to the highest level possible. Sign into your account and do the following:

  • Create a ‘chat’ list and choose friends you want to chat with.
  • Block people from seeing your status updates and other information, by going into Privacy Settings and selecting Customize. This is where you can remove people from seeing your status updates and other information.
  • Go into Account Settings and adjust your email options.

4. Limit the amount of time you spend on Facebook.

It’s sad that it comes to this, but I’m speaking from personal experience. I recently posted a status update and WWIII broke out on my Personal Facebook Page. This is why I favor Twitter. You don’t have to have a personal account like you do with Facebook. You create a Twitter account with a whatever name you want — it could be a business name. There’s no going back and forth like there is on Facebook. Sure, you can follow ‘tweets’ or join a Twitter chat, but chances are your family members won’t be following you on Twitter. It’s something to think about. Sad, but true.

Rebecca
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Who Are You in Your Relationships?

“The heaviest lifting builds the strongest muscles.” ~ Robert Ohotto, from the Self-abandonment in Relationships Soul Connexions radio show

My Fellow Students of Life,

Who are you in relationships? Are you a child? Are you a teenager? Are you a victim? What about a martyr? If you’re dating and looking for a ‘sugar daddy or mommy,’ you’re approaching dating from a ‘child’s’ point-of-view. You’re looking for someone to take care of you instead of you taking care of you. This may be a shock to some of you but identifying who you are in your relationships explains a lot about them.

If you’re constantly fighting with your parents, and you’re 40-years-old, you could still be in the ‘child’ role of the relationship. You could be in the ‘victim’ role as well. While it’s easy to blame parents, there comes a point where you must take responsibility for your own life. Your parents aren’t responsible for you — you are. True, they may have sucked at parenting, but it’s up to you to ‘shift’ your life for the better. Release stinking thinking and shake-off a self-defeating attitude. You’re no longer bound by the rules and regulations of your parents. You make the rules and regulations for your life. If your parents object to the ‘new’ you that’s too bad — it’s not your problem.

If you find yourself dating men or women with lots of money, you’re still in the child and co-dependency role. This isn’t healthy on many levels. Instead of being dependent on another person be dependent on you and only you. What happens if your boyfriend/girlfriend/life partner leaves you? What will you do? Would you find another source of income to replace them with? How is this beneficial to you? It will behoove you to examine ‘why’ you feel you can’t or don’t want to make a living. Perhaps you lack confidence. Maybe you don’t know what to do. Whatever the reason, figure it out today before it’s too late.

Who you are in your relationships matters. If you’re experiencing any drama or pain in your relationships, it could be due to the fact that you’re not being your authentic, adult self. You may not even be aware of this. Take a moment and examine all of your relationships closely. Ask yourself, “Who am I in this relationship?” Write down your answers in a journal or notebook. You may be surprised by the answer you receive. Don’t be too hard on yourself. Remember, you can’t change what you don’t acknowledge.

Rebecca

 

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How to Shift Your Beliefs

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Question: I’ve been studying the Law of Attraction for a few years, but I still don’t get it. I want to change my beliefs, but I don’t think saying affirmations every day works for me. How can I shift my beliefs once and for all? I’m tired of the ‘same old, same old’ in my life and am ready to embrace change. Thank you!

Answer: Ah yes, the Law of Attraction. Many people watched The Secret or read the book. It takes more than saying affirmations — you must believe in them. Also, how you say affirmations is important. For example, if you want to ‘reverse the aging process,’ you may be tempted to say, “I am reversing the aging process.” However, it would behoove you to say, “My youth is replenished and restored.” Do you see and feel the difference between these two affirmations. The latter is truly affirming that your youth is restored.

According to Abraham (Esther & Jerry Hicks), “You can’t get rid of anything. You can’t get rid of your beliefs because you activate them as you try to get rid of them. Instead, practice new beliefs to make them more dominate.” In other words, stop trying to ‘get rid of old thought beliefs’ and cultivate new ones.

You have beliefs you’re not aware of; these aren’t big players in your experience. ~ Abraham

How to shift your beliefs

1. Journal your current beliefs. Grab a journal or notebook and journal all of your beliefs; categorize them into negative and positive. Review your beliefs and ask the following questions:

  • Are these truly my beliefs?
  • Where did I learn these beliefs?
  • How do these beliefs serve me?
  • How are these beliefs creating my present and future?
  • Am I willing to release the beliefs?
  • Am I afraid to release these beliefs? What will happen?

2. Monitor your thoughts. Try this exercise for one week. Notice your thoughts without judging them. How do you ‘feel’ when you think a thought? How does your body react?Really get into your body and allow it to guide you around your thoughts.

3. Set the intention to shift your beliefs. If you want to ‘shift’ your beliefs, set an intention to do so. Write it down — post it around your home. You could also post your ‘new’ beliefs around your home as well.

4. Keep your thoughts to yourself. Unfortunately, the people around you may not be supportive that you’re going in a different direction. It will behoove you to keep your thoughts on shifting your beliefs to yourself for a while. If people begin to distance themselves, bless and allow them to go. You’re embarking on a new path/journey that may not ‘mesh’ with their path/journey anymore.

5. Take it one day at a time. You can expect to change your beliefs overnight but you could be setting yourself up for failure. If you slip into ‘old beliefs/thought’ patterns, acknowledge it. Don’t be too hard on yourself. You’re doing the best you can.

Rebecca

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Are Your Emotions Holding You Hostage?

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Question: I’ve noticed that my emotions have been out-of-whack lately. What can I do to get control over them? Sometimes, I think they’re holding me hostage!

Answer: Your emotions act like a GPS (global positioning system) because they tell you where you are in your life. Are you angry? Are you sad? Are you frustrated? Are you fed up with life in general? You get the idea. Use your ’emotional GPS’ to help you ‘sort’ through your emotions. Please don’t ‘stuff’ your emotions because they’ll resurface; you’ll have to deal with them eventually.

When you push against unwanted or uncomfortable emotions, you’re resistance to them will create more of the same. Instead of getting upset that you’re upset, take a deep breath and ‘feel’ your emotions. If you’re angry, feel it. This is healthier than ignoring your anger. Once you ‘feel’ the anger, you can process the emotion. Ask yourself the following questions:

  • Why am I angry?
  • What or who angered me?
  • What inside of me becomes angry when I communicate with or think of (fill in the blank)?
  • How can my anger be positive?

Once you go through this process, you’ll have a better understanding of where your anger is coming from. It usually has nothing to do with a person or situation. There’s something inside of you that wants to be acknowledged and healed.

Be grateful for ALL of your emotions because they have great lesson to teach you. Of course, when you’re ticked off, you probably won’t believe this. However, your emotions will help you to heal and move forward with your life if you feel them. Please don’t be afraid that feeling your emotions will create negativity in your life. The opposite is true. Once you recognize and process your emotions, you’ll be set free. Positive vibrations will come into your life because you made room for them. It’s something to look forward to.

Rebecca

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