“You need to lose weight and not gain any weight to fit into your bridesmaid dress.”
Those were the words spoken to my 21 year old niece on December 18, 2014 when she went for her first bridesmaid dress fitting at a Rocky River, Ohio bridal shop.
When my niece told me this I saw red.
“Who the hell is this woman?” I asked.
“Does she look like super model Heidi Klum?” I asked. Not that this matters.
With tears in her eyes, my niece said, “No.”
My cried all the way home because of the insensitive employee at the bridal shop in Rocky River, Ohio.
The bridal shop owner and employee are lucky that my niece didn’t get into a car accident.
After all, it’s difficult to drive and see the road when you’re balling your eyes out.
I looked up bridal shop online went to their Facebook; I clicked on their photos.
The women who work there don’t look like Super Models!
They look like the average size 12-16 American woman.
I can’t imagine Lori, owner of Bridals by Lori or Randy from Kleinfeld in New York, (see the hit TV shows on TLC) telling a woman that she needs to lose weight and that she better not gain weight to fit into a wedding gown or bridesmaid dress.
People wonder why teen girls, young women, and women in general, develop eating disorders. It’s because of clueless people like the woman who works at bridal shop in Rocky River, Ohio.
If women wonder why they can’t get along or develop friendships with other women, perhaps they should listen to the words they speak.
If women wonder why they can’t sell wedding gowns and bridesmaid dresses, they should listen to the words coming out of their mouth.
Women Don’t Need Other Women Telling Them to Lose Weight
Let’s face it; most women do a great job of ripping themselves a part.
They look in the mirror and see every flaw, from pimples to cellulite.
Women don’t need other women telling them they have to lose weight, or even gain weight.
Women don’t need other women to point out this and that about their body or personality.
Most women can pick themselves a part in less than 2.5 seconds!
Words Hit Harder Than a Punch
My mother always said to me, “If you can’t say anything nice, shut your mouth.”
It’s one thing to give constructive criticism and feedback, if it’s asked for.
It’s another thing to say to a woman, “You need to lose weight and better not gain weight.”
The employee at the Rocky River, Ohio bridal shop could have said, “If your bridesmaid dress needs alterations, there will be a charge of (fill in the blank).”
If my niece releases 50 lbs. her bridesmaid will have to be altered — it will have to be taken in!
Women Need a Wake Up Call
I hate to break the news to women, but you’re not Barbie Doll perfect.
Even super models and celebrities have flaws, which are usually airbrushed away in Photoshop.
Even if you have a ton of plastic surgery, you still won’t be 100 percent perfect.
In fact, you may not even look like yourself, or human!
If someone has told you that you need to lose weight, say to them, “Thanks. I’ll consider it.”
It’s up to you to make changes in your life because you WANT to do so.
Bridal Shop Owners and Employees Treat Women with Respect
Remember, the energy you put out to the universe will come back to bite you in one form or another.
It may not be today.
It may not be five days or years from now.
But rest assured, you energy will come back to Slap you!
For example, the employee at the Rocky River, Ohio bridal shop didn’t count on my niece having an aunt who’s a freelance writer who also knows how to use social media.
My niece is:
I get it that everyone makes mistakes.
Maybe the employee was having a Bad Day. I don’t know.
But it’s still no excuse to humiliate a young woman who already has self-confidence and self-esteem issues.
I know how my niece felt because I too was picked on and made fun of because of my weight.
It doesn’t feel great.
Of course, when you lose weight the people who treated you like crap think you now have an eating disorder. They also think you’re weird because you don’t eat red meat. Really.
As my father used to say to me, “Did you think? No? That was your first mistake!”
Think before you speak. And most importantly, treat each other with respect. Unless, of course, you care to be treated like shit!