How happy are you?
The truth is you may not be that happy. You may be going through life miserable and unfulfilled.
Why?
You probably learned to be miserable from your parents and family. Let’s face it; these are the people we spend the most time with. Yes, a negative mindset and depression are contagious. You can catch another person’s crappy mood like you can catch a cold!
I’m sure you’ve heard over and over again that “happiness is a state of mind” and that “you can choose to be happy now.”
The truth is being happy could be a challenge if your desires and dreams haven’t manifested. The key is to stop thinking you need this or that to be happy. Release your dreams instead of constantly focusing and worrying about manifesting them. Be happy with what you have. You’ll feel better.
Let’s examine the 7 steps living a happier life…
1. Stop seeking approval from others, especially family. I’ll tell you something you probably never heard before: not everyone in your family, this includes your parents, siblings, cousins, aunts and uncles, and grandparents will approve of you and or your dreams. I know this sucks to read because all of us have been conditioned to believe that family is everything and that family will support you. This is a lie. Just ask any teenager who comes out of the closet to their parents. Not all teens are accepted for who they are. The sad truth is that some of them are kicked out of their homes because of their sexuality. The sooner you KICK THE HABIT OF SEEKING APPROVAL from others the happier you’ll be.
2. Choose a career path that works for you. Quit listening to people who say, “You can’t make a living as an artist.” You may have to have a day job to pay the bills, but you can pursue your art at night (or whatever it is that brings you joy). You can paint, write, act, design, sculpt, etc. on weekends and weeknights. Share your art with the world by creating a website and marketing yourself on social media networks. Join groups and network with other artists. You never know who you’ll meet who can help you get noticed. Choose a CAREER that works for you and it will work for others too.
3. Speak words of favor. Try this experiment. Listen to the words that come out of your mouth. Heck, listen to the words that come out of your spouses, partners, family, friends, and co-workers. I’d bet you any money they speak words of defeat. This gets old after a while. Learn to tune-out the negativity and SPEAK words of favor.
4. Be grateful. I know you’ve read and heard about this one. The majority of self-help authors on the planet stress the importance of being GRATEFUL. You could keep a gratitude journal or you can state out loud what you’re grateful for. For example, I’m grateful I have a roof over my head; I’m grateful I have the world’s greatest mother; and I’m grateful that I can see and hear. The list goes on and on. Give it a try.
5. Smile and laugh. How many times a day do you SMILE? I’d bet it’s not a lot. How many times a day do you laugh? I bet it’s not a lot. Look in the mirror and smile. Watch a good comedy and laugh until your stomach hurts. Stop taking life on planet earth so serious. Lighten up. It will do your mind, body, and soul good.
6. Love. Before you can love others, you MUST LOVE you! Give yourself a hug every day. Love unconditionally without any strings any attached. If you ever find yourself in a sticky situation ask yourself, “What would love do?” Be still and listen for the answer. Love has the power to transform your life in HUGE ways. When you transform your life, you can help others do the same.
7. Be you. Just BE YOU! Quit trying to please your mother, father, brother, sister, grandma, grandpa, aunt, uncle, cousin, teacher, co-worker, etc. You are unique. Embrace your individuality and don’t be afraid to express yourself. Just be you and get on with your life. The sooner you accept you, the happier you’ll be. You’ll be free of stress and anxiety.
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Wonderful post Amandah!
Yes indeed, you really don’t need approval of your family members, nor be dependent on them for your happiness. Some teens do lead miserable lives and often feel that they are somehow linked to their family too.
Career needs to be chosen wisely because that’s really what’s going to get you your bread and butter. I agree, you should follow your heart and do what you like doing, though make sure you excel in it so that it brings you the returns too.
Smiling, loving, laughing, and being grateful are MUSTs if you want to live a happier life. No matter what you might be undergoing, I think you can always find a reason to smile and love another. And even be grateful for the hardships you undergo, because it’s due to them that you learn so many things too – isn’t it?
Thanks for sharing these wonderful steps to achieving a happy life with all of us.
Thanks Harleena!
One of the reasons why I want to work with teens, especially those from dysfunctional environments (high-risk youths), is to show and tell them they don’t need the approval others. They can be, do, and have what they want in life; however, it’s up to them to do the work.
I encourage everyone to follow their hearts when it comes to choosing a career. A former co-worker of mine used to say, “I spend more time with all of you than I do my husband and two kids.” I thought that was sad.
One of the reasons why I like listening to Pastor Joel Osteen (and reading his books) is he gives sound advice such as “Don’t Live for Approval” and “Be Grateful No Matter What.” I’m re-reading his book Every Day A Friday and hi-lighting the chapters that stand out to me.
Thanks again for stopping by MisticCafe…
Hi Amandah
So right, we all need to love ourselves a little more. So many people have a way of bringing us down because they are so unhappy with their own life. They really are not as bad of as they make out they are. It was awful working around negative people.
You definitely can’t please everyone and some have these opinions of what you should be and who you should be. Disappointing their opinions of you can cause for great friction.
Family has this masquerade of having unconditional love and then when they disapprove that unconditional love goes out the window. Yes, you have to love yourself first and foremost. If you get a little love from someone else, then that is an extra bonus. 7 steps for a happier life makes good sense.
Great post.
Mary
i love point number 5, when i feel stressed i watch comedy movies or comedy shows and i end up feeling way better
Hi Mary,
Thanks for the comment.
No, you can’t please everyone. It’s taken me a long time to figure that out but with the help of Joel Osteen’s books and podcasts, I’ve gotten over being a people pleaser. Joel’s right, some people don’t want to be happy. In act, they’re happier being negative. Go figure!
“Family has this masquerade of having unconditional love and then when they disapprove that unconditional love goes out the window.” Amen to this! Again, it took me a long time to figure this out. It’s amazing how some family members expect you to stay right where you’re at because if you leave it shows them you have the guts to do something extraordinary when they’re too afraid to leave their backyards.
Thanks again for your comment!
Hi Farouk,
Thanks for the comment! I love comedies. They’re a couple I want to see such as Hotel Transylvania and Frankenweenie. These types of movies are for kids of all ages.
Seriously, those definitions of happiness simply cannot be achieved in our fast paced lifestyles. This is what I think. Though I’m a medical student, playing the guitar is one of my passions and I do both, I go to college and play the guitar as well (both I’m passionate about). My parents don’t approve of me playing the guitar at all. I’m a teenager, 19.
I follow every point you’ve mentioned here. Frankly this has the been the most straightforward approach to happiness, I’ve ever seen. Love it.
Thanks for the great read!
Aditya
Thanks for stopping by the MisticCafe!
I think happiness is in the eye of the beholder. Dr. Wayne Dyer. Deepak Chopra, and other spiritual thought leaders often say that we can choose to be happy, no matter what. We always have the power to choose. No one can force you to be or not be happy.
I understand that you’re 19, but allowing your parents to control your life may not be the best for you or the world. What if your guitar playing was the answer to world peace? Would you stop because your parents don’t approve? They can’t control your life and happiness, unless you allow them to do so. I’m sure you want to show them respect. However, it’s your life. It’s something to think about.