Yearly Archives: 2010

Don’t Spend Your Life Seeking Approval from Others

Posted on December 15, 2010 by | Leave a comment

I was listening to one of Joel Osteen’s podcasts and it was about “Not Living for Approval.” This struck a chord with me because I didn’t realize that for most of my life I was living for approval. I was living for approval from my family (particularly my father), co-workers, bosses, and friends. I was taken aback because I consider myself a strong personality who doesn’t care what people think — apparently I was wrong. I began my emotional and spiritual transformation three years ago and it has opened eyes to the many wonders of life.

I’m done living for approval. The only approval I seek is from me! What people think of me is none of my business. If my career choice or lifestyle doesn’t mesh with what others think my career or lifestyle should be, it will not hurt my feelings. I learned to walk away from people no matter who they are. Most people can’t do this because they buy into the belief that their family is everything to them. This may be true for some but not for others. It’s unfortunate, but sometimes family and friends won’t give you their approval. You must be strong enough to say, “That’s okay, but I’m pursuing my dreams anyway.” Don’t allow anyone to deter you from your path. It may be difficult in the beginning but it will get easier.

Seeking approval from others is a form of control and manipulation. Your belief is that you must control others in order to get what you want which is their approval. You believe you must sacrifice what’s in your heart in order to receive approval from others. This is a lot of work! Don’t be fooled by false promises. If people want to give your their approval, they’ll give it to you.

Approve of yourself. Love yourself fully and watch as the world before you transforms. Get out of your head (easier said than done) and start living. Who cares what people think? Stop putting emphasis on what your family members think about you because you’ll drive yourself crazy! You can’t please everyone — please yourself. Life’s too short to be worried about what others think if you do this or that. Start living and stop being an approval seeker.

Rebecca

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Posted in Healthy and Well, Just Think, Life, Motivation and Inspiration

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What’s Good for You Isn’t Good for Someone Else

Posted on December 13, 2010 by | Leave a comment

In 2007 I moved to Phoenix, Arizona and it was one of the best decisions I ever made in my life. Fast forward three years, and I had to move back to Ohio because my plan to for a new life in Arizona didn’t work out the way I thought it would. I can’t tell you why it didn’t work out but it didn’t. I loved Arizona because it’s an ideal state for someone who’s as active as I am; there’s plenty to do and see. I was outside seven days a week hiking, walking, and running. I enjoyed the 100+ degree temperatures. Most people couldn’t believe I enjoyed the heat but I did because I’m me and not them. Remember, what is good for you may not be good for someone else!

When I moved to Arizona some family members couldn’t understand why. I always felt like the odd man out in my family. When I was a child I used to think I was adopted and that one day my ‘real family’ would come for me. They would take me with them to California, New York, or another country. My mom reassures me that I came from her womb and that I’m apart of my family. The only explanation I have for being apart of my family is that I have a ‘soul’ connection to my family; I must clean up my ‘karma’ with them. I don’t know if this is true because God, the angels, universal intelligence, and my spirit guides haven’t told me if this is true.

All I know is that my life is my life. No one has the right to tell me where to live or that I must want to live in my birth state. I was born in Ohio but there’s no rule or law that says I must live out my days here. I don’t feel connected in Ohio. It’s a beautiful state, especially during the fall when the leaves turn vibrant hues of red and orange but I prefer to be in the sun all year round.

I discovered that my family members may not be as ambitious or industrious as me and that’s okay. To each their own. I don’t meddle in their lives and tell them they should want to better themselves by owning their own business or moving to another state. I don’t ‘preach’ my personal philosophy to them because it probably would fall on deaf ears. They’re free to live their lives as I’m free to live mine.

The next time someone tries to tell you what to do with your life, run the other way. Be polite and tell them your life is yours to live — they don’t own you. Remember that you don’t have the right to tell others what to do. If they come to you for advice, give it to them, and allow them to make their own decisions. If you try to control another, you’ll drive yourself and that person crazy! Live and let live and all will be right in the world.

Rebecca

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Credit Card Debt Could be an Advantage

Posted on December 13, 2010 by | Leave a comment

My credit card company somehow got my mom’s phone number and keeps calling my mom. When the representative called again to speak with me, I took the phone call. I knew they were calling to sell me something because I pay my statement on time. I told her that she was calling my mom’s phone number and not mind. She apologized and gave me a 1-888 number to call. I called and had my mom’s phone number put on the Do Not Call list. Hopefully, this clears up the phone number snafu.

If you have credit card debt it could be an advantage. When financial representatives call you they’re calling to sell you something like identity protection or some other product. All you have to do is tell them that you have $5,000 or more in credit card debt and you’re not interested. They may try to press you but all you have to do is reiterate that you owe your credit card company money and you don’t think it’s a good idea to take on more credit card debt. Tell them your main priority is paying off your debt as soon as possible and signing up for a product that costs $30 or more per month is not feasible at this moment.

The next time a representative calls you, nip it in the bud! Tell them you can’t sign up for products right now but to contact you in a year or two. If you’re temporarily living with your parents and credit card companies call their phone number, make sure you call to have their phone number removed. There’s no reason for credit card companies to contact your parents, unless, of course, they co-signed a loan for you!

Rebecca

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Posted in All Business, Just Think, Life, Wealth

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Are You a Life Coach or Baby Sitter?

Posted on December 9, 2010 by | Leave a comment

I attended a webinar for Bob Proctor’s Life Consultant program. I think Bob puts his money where his mouth is and I’m considering his program. Bob made an interesting point about life coaches — he said they’re baby sitters. I was taken aback by his comment but in a way, he could be right. He said the life coaches have conversations with their clients either face-to-face or over the phone. He went onto to explain the process which is the coach meets with client, they discuss what the client can do to move his/her life forward, the coach assigns “homework” to the client, and they agree to meet again where the coach will find out if the client did the homework assignment. Bob said this isn’t coaching it is babysitting!

Is life coaching like babysitting? What do you think? Share your thoughts.

Rebecca

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Employers Conduct Sloppy Interviews

Posted on December 9, 2010 by | Leave a comment

I expect the best that’s just how it is. I won’t apologize for expecting the best customer service, the best companies and people to work with, or the best places to live. I know who I am which probably scares most people because they don’t know who they are.

Recently, I had an interview and it was a disaster. It was snowing, and I was stuck on the highway. I’m still amazed that Ohioans “freak out” even though most of them have lived in Ohio all of their lives. Snow happens in Ohio — get over it. I had a “gut feeling” that this opportunity wasn’t right for me, and I was right.

Since I was crawling on the highway, I did the right thing and called the person who was supposed to be interviewing me and left a message. Traffic started moving for whatever reason (there wasn’t an accident), and I continued on my way into Downtown Cleveland. My phone rang, and I thought it was the person who was supposed to interview me. Wrong! It was the receptionist (not very personable or upbeat) telling me the person I was meeting was out on medical leave. What? Then the receptionist proceeded to tell me I’d be interviewing with two other people. What? I didn’t know I was interviewing with two other people. You’d think the person interviewing me would have had the courtesy to email or leave me a voice message telling me she wouldn’t there. You’d think I would have been informed that I would be interviewing with a total of three people. To me, this is sloppy business and communication. No matter what you circumstance is you hand the ball over to someone else so it doesn’t get lost in the shuffle.

Employers expect “the best of the best” to work for them but they may want to reevaluate their current staff because they may not be the best. When you interview people, make sure you’ll be there for the interview. If not, send a quick email or phone call and explain that someone else is conducting the interview. This way the candidate won’t be surprised when they arrive at your office.

Sloppy communications is one of my pet peeves but that’s just me. Even if I was in the hospital or half way around the world, I would make sure that systems were in place to handle business. My employees would be the best of the best and they’d make sure day-to-day operations ran like clockwork — this includes a simple task such as interviewing. There are no excuses for sloppy interviews. Get your act together or the person you’re supposed to interview could become your competition and “lure” your clients away from you. I bet you didn’t think about that!

Rebecca

P.S.

People have lost their jobs and are looking for employment. You may need to earn a living but please don’t be desperate and take the first offer that comes along. Chances are you’re probably smarter than the people who are interviewing you. You may consider opening your own business before working for someone else again.

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Be Authentic and Stop Trying to be Someone Else

Posted on November 30, 2010 by | Leave a comment

I’ve been doing some self reflection this year and it seems the moment I think I’ve finally got the answers I’m looking for, more questions come up and start my reflection process all over again. One question I’ve been asking is “Am I truly authentic?” and “What does it mean to be authentic?” I’ve read a lot of self-help books, and quite frankly I’m becoming ‘burned out’ by them. The authors names are blurring together as are the words that are printed on the pages. Many of these authors love to tell people to be authentic. But what does that mean? It’s very confusing because your ‘authentic self’ may love shoes and accessories and doesn’t want to give them up. Yes, these material items bring you joy, but some self-help gurus may tell you that they’re bad or wrong and you should focus on the spiritual world. Of course, they tell you this as they’re giving an interview on the Today or Oprah show dressed in a designer outfit!

What does it mean to be authentic? I think it means to be who you want to be. If you want to be a person who volunteers, then do it. If this makes you happy, what’s wrong with that? If you want to buy expensive clothes then go ahead and do purchase them. Why shouldn’t you be wearing the latest fashions? If owning a pair of Jimmy Choo shoes puts a smile on your face, purchase them. Unless, of course, you really can’t afford them right now; the alternative is to dream and feel what it would be like to wear them.

It’s seems that self-help authors love to tell people what to do and how to ‘fix’ their lives, even though most self-help authors will tell you that you can’t fix anyone but yourself. Isn’t this a contradiction? Didn’t they break their own rule? The only one you change is yourself.

If you’re tired of trying to fit into a box that family and friends or self-help gurus expect you to fit into, say the heck with it. Be who you want to be and love every part of you — this includes the light and the dark. Until you accept the ‘whole’ you, you won’t be happy and you’ll make others miserable. Life’s too short to be something you’re not!

Rebecca

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Stop Using Facebook If You’re Tired of Meddling Family Members

Posted on November 29, 2010 by | Leave a comment

I read an advice piece written by Washington Post writer Carolyn Hax which is featured in The Plain Dealer on Monday’s. An irate mother wrote Carolyn and wanted to know how to handle her meddling family. The daughter of the irate mother posted a Facebook status about her engagement. Instead of calling grandma and other family members before she used Facebook to announce her soon-to-be wedded bliss, she used social media. A cousin saw the status and took it upon himself to call grandma and tell her the news. Now the mother of the bride is ticked off that her daughter didn’t have a chance to call grandma and tell her the good news herself. Who told the daughter to use Facebook to announce her engagement? If it was so important that she tell grandma herself, why didn’t she?

Facebook has become the ‘busy body’ of the 21st century. Years ago, people didn’t know what was really going on within families unless there was a family gossip who took it upon herself or himself to spread news like wildfire. Fast forward to the present and in the less than 2.5 seconds you can learn that your sister and husband are divorcing because he’s been cheating on her for the past three years!

Fact: Years ago, some neighborhoods used to have ‘busy bodies’ who knew their neighbors business. They could tell you who was cheating on who, who was getting a divorce, who was an alcoholic, and anything else you’d like to know!

It’s interesting how the mother kept blaming her family for meddling when it was her daughter that committed the ‘faux pas’ in the first place. If grandma is a priority, then the daughter should have picked up the phone and called her grandma. The mother should be thankful her daughter didn’t send grandma a text message!

The next time you find yourself getting upset with meddling family members, ask yourself why you’re using Facebook to post personal information about yourself. Perhaps it’s time to cool it with social media and go back to a time when people stuck their noses in their own business. Stop reading what everyone else is doing and focus on your own life for a change. If you don’t, it could pass you by and your Facebook status won’t make a difference!

Rebecca

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Thanksgiving Isn’t Worth Risking Your Health

Posted on November 24, 2010 by | Leave a comment

I spoke with my sister today and she sounded horrible! She has a fever, is congested, and sounds as if she’ll keel over at any moment. She’s worried that her mother-in-law will get upset if she misses Thanksgiving dinner. My sister was supposed to help her mother-in-law set the dinner table. I nominate my sister’s mother-in-law’s daughter for the job. Why should my sister have to do it? Gotta love the holidays!

Thanksgiving for my sister is stressful because of the in-laws. Personally, I wouldn’t allow them to get to me but I have more clarity than my sister — she’s still asleep. They don’t eat dinner until 6 pm because they have to wait for her brother-in-law. I suggested to my sister that she and her family eat a ‘light lunch’ this way they won’t be starving. The alternative is to eat earlier and keep the food warm for her brother-in-law.

My sister has a really good heart but she allows people to walk all over her. I wish she would stand up to others and set boundaries with people as I have. Between the two of us, I was always considered to be the ‘stronger’ one. Since I’ve been on my transformational journey, I’ve gotten stronger. For example, I became a vegetarian and won’t be partaking in Thanksgiving. I look at this way — I’m over 18, I can do what I want. I can only imagine what that turkey went through and what kind of living conditions it had. This grosses me out.

I hope and pray that my sister doesn’t risk her health or the health of others by attending Thanksgiving dinner with her in-laws. If they can’t understand that she’s really sick then they have some ‘internal’ issues to work out. My sister needs to put her foot down and start sticking up for herself; otherwise her physical and mental health may decrease.

Life’s too short to be worked up about the holidays such as Thanksgiving — it’s one day out of 365 days! I say “live and let live!” And, you can eat turkey any day of the year; there’s no reason to wait until Thanksgiving.

Rebecca

How many times did you attend Thanksgiving dinners when you were sick? Share.

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Posted in Healthy and Well, Just Think, Life, Motivation and Inspiration

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Are You a Yo-Yo Dieter? You Could be Empathic

Posted on November 22, 2010 by | Leave a comment

The weight-loss industry is a multi-billion dollar industry that keeps on growing. Unfortunately, all of the pills and potions may not slim your growing waist line! If you have a tendency to go up and down in weight, you could be empathic which means you’re highly sensitive to other peoples’ emotions. When you take on their emotions, weight gain is a way to ‘buffer’ taking on other peoples’ emotions. Yo-yo dieting isn’t healthy for your mind, body, and soul.

If you always feel that you want to ‘fix’ everyone, you could be empathic. You can’t logically or medically treat your empathic abilities. You must ground yourself before you walk into a crowded room or visit with family. You can take a walk in nature and connect with the Earth, take a bath filled with sea salt, take a shower, or meditate. Anything you can do to ground yourself will make the world of difference in your life and curb your appetite.

Make sure you eat three meals a day with two snacks. Do your best to stay away from sugar based foods such as candy, chocolate, donuts, and other foods that contain sugar this way your body will become a fat burning furnace. Instead, have a piece of cheese and an apple or some carrots. It’s important to have at least two snacks throughout the day because this will keep your sugar level stable.

Once you understand your empathic abilities, you’ll be able to release your extra weight once and for all and keep it off. Did you know that most empaths go to the refrigerator around 4 pm? If you can take a shower at this time this would be a great way to ground yourself. If you can’t take a shower, make sure you have something planned between the hours of 4 pm to 9 pm. Make sure your time is occupied and don’t feel guilty about taking time for yourself. Good luck!

Rebecca

Does your weight go up and down? Share

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Posted in Healthy and Well, Just Think, Life, Motivation and Inspiration

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Are You Casting Charms and Spells Over Your Life with Your Words?

Posted on November 19, 2010 by | Leave a comment

Photo from Stock Exchange

Being around negative, complaining, and whining people is draining. What happens if you’re married to them? What if they’re your mother, father, siblings, grandparents, and other family members? Try Harry Potter’s ‘Expecto Patronum‘ charm to block their negative energy — you’ll never know if it works until you try it.

As a writer, I’m never at a loss for ideas that will eventually become blog posts, articles, or books because my family provides me with a huge amount of material to use. God bless my family! Take for example, my mum. Okay, I’m from the U.S. but since Harry Potter’s from the U.K., I thought I’d use British speak for a moment. The words that come out of my mom’s mouth make me cringe and want to get down on my knees to thank God I now realize that our beliefs, feelings, thoughts, and words create our reality. She doesn’t realize the words coming out of her mouth are creating her reality. For example, the lights went out and she immediately let out a few choice words including, “my refrigerator’s going to break because the electricity keeps going out.” Yes, it will because she’s always saying that. I’m surprised the refrigerator hasn’t broken by now. My mom is the best mom in the world but she’s not convinced that we create our reality with our beliefs, thoughts, and words. I’m sure one day she’ll ‘wake up’ to realize that we do indeed create our own reality and draw situations and people to use because of how think, feel, and speak!

Make sure you’re not casting ‘charms and spells’ that will wreak havoc in your life. Mind your thoughts and words. When you’re angry or sad, feel the feelings but do what you can to push through them. Think of the happiest times in your life, go for a walk or run, or do something nice for someone. Once you do this a couple of times, you’ll begin to notice your thoughts, feelings, and word more and will choose your words wisely. Good luck!

Rebecca

Are you casting ‘charms and spells’ over your life? Share.

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Posted in Healthy and Well, Just Think, Life, Motivation and Inspiration, Relationships

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